How to sustain a vibe with Olympic champions Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir

Tessa Virtue (0:00)

When I look back now at our entire partnership, what we allowed for was this room to recalibrate, this room to change, and then come back together and get to know that version of one another, and get to know our partnership as we were children, and teens, and adults, and mature skaters. There needed to be room for evolution within that. We couldn't operate within this one set of standard rules and expect that to work for two decades.

Adam Grant (0:28)

Hey, everyone, it's Adam Grant. Welcome back to ReThinking, my podcast with TED on the science of what makes us tick. I'm an organizational psychologist, and I'm taking you inside the minds of fascinating people to explore new thoughts and new ways of thinking.

Next week, I'm launching my new book, Vibe, The Secrets of Strong Connections in a Lonely World. It's about how to spark, strengthen, and sustain bonds. You can preorder it now in print, ebook, or audio, which is narrated by me and features the voices of many of the people in the book. I'm about to start touring the US and UK, and I'd love to see ReThinking listeners at the events. My conversation partners include Jennifer Garner, M. Night Shyamalan, Ann Patchett, and Matthew McConaughey. All right. You can find more info and take a Vibe quiz at adamgrant.net. To celebrate the launch of the book, I'm doing some special episodes with pairs whose Vibe I admire. Today is the first one.

Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir are the most decorated figure skaters in Olympic history. They won three gold medals and two silvers over a 22-year athletic partnership before they retired in 2019

Tessa is also the host of a new podcast, Virtuoso, where she talks with athletes, artists, entrepreneurs, scientists, leaders, and creators about success, resilience, and purpose. I couldn't wait to talk with them about how they built and maintained such a great collaboration. It began when Tessa was 7 and Scott was 9

Tessa Virtue (1:56)

We were so small, we couldn't see over the boards, and we would just hold hands, not talk, and cruise around the perimeter of the ice surface.

Adam Grant (2:03)

Their relationship had to evolve as they became teenagers and then adults. It was a lot of work, not just on the ice, but off it too.

Scott Moir (2:11)

We also grew up in the age where mental coaching and sports psych was blossoming. So we started marriage counseling.

Adam Grant (2:18)

You did marriage counseling?

Tessa Virtue (2:20)

Yeah.

Scott Moir (2:21)

Yeah, totally. It got more and more sophisticated as it went on, and we were able to really be students of that and understand that it wasn't just an important part of the game, it was the majority of the game.

Adam Grant (2:34)

It's a myth that we either vibe or we don't, and Tessa and Scott's collaboration is a testament to that. Enjoy.

Hi Tessa. Hi Scott.

Tessa Virtue (2:46)

Hi Adam.

Scott Moir (2:47)

Hi Adam. How are you?

Adam Grant (2:48)

Good.

Tessa Virtue (2:48)

It's such a treat to be on with you.

Adam Grant (2:50)

Well, that remains to be seen.

Scott Moir (2:53)

Let's see how this hour goes.

Adam Grant (2:54)

I'm honored to have you. Tessa, did you know when you invited me on to your show that I was just going to reverse this and give you a bait and switch and say, actually, come on, my show.

Tessa Virtue (3:03)

I love it. Well, leave it to you to always have some creative thinking in mind. I was blown away by your genuine enthusiasm. I was just excited. I would have brought coffee to this interview if it meant getting a chance to connect.

Adam Grant (3:15)

You would have been drinking it by yourself then.

Tessa Virtue (3:17)

You're not a coffee guy?

Adam Grant (3:19)

I've never drank coffee.

Tessa Virtue (3:20)

Wow.

Scott Moir (3:21)

Really?

Adam Grant (3:22)

Is that weird?

Tessa Virtue (3:23)

Well, I go to bed at night dreaming about coffee.

Scott Moir (3:26)

Yeah, I'd still be in bed if there wasn't coffee waiting.

Adam Grant (3:30)

Wow.

Scott Moir (3:30)

So yeah, I think it's a little weird for us.

Tessa Virtue (3:32)

Yeah, it brings me extraordinary joy.

Adam Grant (3:35)

Coffee, I can't imagine needing it. The energy is just there.

Scott Moir (3:40)

You can tell in your eyes you have that energy.

Tessa Virtue (3:42)

That's special.

Adam Grant (3:42)

Can you?

Scott Moir (3:43)

Yeah, just the way you sit and your energy as you talk. Absolutely.

Adam Grant (3:48)

Wow.

Scott Moir (3:48)

You don't need coffee.

Adam Grant (3:51)