How to Stop Being So Hard on Yourself | Dr. D. Ivan Young - EP 800

**SPEAKER_1** (0:00)
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**John R. Miles** (1:26)
Coming up next on Passion Struck.

**Dr. D. Ivan Young** (1:28)
These biases and stereotypes only have strength until we question them.
And once we decide that we're going to establish our own identity, our own set of core values and our own beliefs, now the filters shift. And if we come to the table with objectivity, thank God for neuroscience because mirror neurons work. And if I come to you with a smile and I come to you open with compassion and earnst, if you're a sane person and you're not some crazy extremophile, at some point in our interactions, you're going to give back to me what I'm giving to you.

**John R. Miles** (2:08)
Welcome to Passion Struck. I'm your host, John Miles. This is the show where we explore the art of human flourishing and what it truly means to live like it matters.
Each week, I sit down with change makers, creators, scientists, and everyday heroes to decode the human experience and uncover the tools that help us lead with meaning, heal what hurts, and pursue the fullest expression of who we're capable of becoming. Whether you're designing your future, developing as a leader, or seeking deeper alignment in your life, this show is your invitation to grow with purpose and act with intention. Because the secret to a life of deep purpose, connection, and impact is choosing to live like you matter.
Hey, it's your friend John. Welcome back to Passion Struck, and welcome to episode 800
Eight hundred conversations later, one thing has become abundantly clear to me. The quality of our lives rarely exceeds the quality of the relationships we have with ourselves. I've had the privilege of sitting down with neuroscientists, psychologists, military leaders, CEOs, Olympic athletes, best-selling authors, and people whose stories have changed the way I see the world. And no matter where those conversations begin, they almost always lead back to the same place. How we see ourselves. Let me ask you something. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to extend compassion to almost everyone except yourself? You encourage your friends when they struggle.
You forgive the people you love. You remind others that setbacks don't define them. But when it's your own mistake, your own fear, your own disappointment, the voice in your head often becomes the harshest one you'll ever hear. And what if that voice isn't just shaping how you feel? What if it's quietly shaping every relationship you have, every decision you make, and every version of yourself you're capable of becoming? That's the conversation we're having today. By the end of this episode, you'll understand why self-compassion isn't self-indulgence. It's one of the foundations of resilience. You'll discover why so many high achievers remain trapped in survival mode, even after they've achieved extraordinary success. How trauma continues shaping our decisions long after the original event has passed. Why empathy can heal or manipulate, and why the relationship you have with yourself ultimately becomes the relationship you have with everyone else. Our guide for this milestone conversation is Dr. D. Ivan Young. Dr. Young is a neuroscientist, executive coach, leadership expert, and the author of Leading from the Heart. For decades, he's worked with elite athletes, Fortune 500 executives, entrepreneurs, and public figures, helping them understand something many people spend a lifetime avoiding.
You cannot build a flourishing life while remaining at war with yourself. His work explores how trauma, self-awareness, empathy, and self-compassion shape not only our leadership, but the quality of every relationship we build. But here's what stayed with me long after we stopped recording. This wasn't really a conversation about neuroscience, or leadership, or even trauma. It was a conversation about learning to offer yourself the same grace you spent your life giving everyone else.