How To Live the Good Life - Lessons From The Longest Study On Happiness | Dr. Robert Waldinger

Michael Gervais (0:00)

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Robert Waldinger (1:22)

We understand how good relationships can make you happier, but how could they get into your body and make it less likely that you'd get coronary artery disease or type 2 diabetes? How is that even possible?

Michael Gervais (1:33)

What if the most powerful thing you can do for your health isn't diet or exercise, but it's investing in the people that you love?

Robert Waldinger (1:40)

What I'm going to tell you is from a treasure trove of data. Basically, what we find when we look at these 85 years of studying the same people all the way through their lives, we find two big things.

Michael Gervais (1:53)

Welcome back or welcome to the Finding Mastery Podcast, where we dive into the minds of the world's greatest thinkers and doers. I'm your host, Dr. Michael Gervais, by trade and training a high-performance psychologist. The idea behind these conversations is simple. It's to sit with the extraordinaries and to learn, to really learn how they work from the inside out. Today's episode is from the Finding Mastery Vault with Dr. Robert Waldinger. He's a psychiatrist, Harvard professor, Zen master and director of the world's longest running scientific study on happiness.

Robert Waldinger (2:21)

What we found was that the people who had the warmest connections with others and maintained those connections as they went through life, not just were happier, but stayed healthier and they lived longer.

Michael Gervais (2:33)

Now, in this conversation, Robert and I get into the science of connection, how relationships literally get into our bodies, how they lower stress, improve our health and expand our capacity to live well.

Robert Waldinger (2:43)

If I have something upsetting happen and I can go home and talk to my wife or I can call a friend, I can literally feel my body calm down as I share that stress with somebody else.

Michael Gervais (2:54)

We discuss how loneliness can be as dangerous as smoking.

Robert Waldinger (2:57)

They did a study where they found lonely people give off a vibe without realizing it that says, don't come near me, and how small acts of social fitness paired with the courage to be vulnerable and change the trajectory of your life. We coined this phrase social fitness, the analogy with physical fitness. You don't go to the gym today and come home and say, good, I worked out, I'm done, I don't ever have to do that again. Social fitness is a practice.

Michael Gervais (3:22)

This episode is timeless and a powerful reminder. No one does it alone.

Robert Waldinger (3:27)

What we found was that the people who were the best at this and ultimately the happiest and healthiest were the people who were.

Michael Gervais (3:35)

With that, let's jump into this week's From the Vault conversation with Dr. Robert Waldinger. Bob, how are you?

Robert Waldinger (3:46)

I'm good. I'm glad to be here.

Michael Gervais (3:49)

Oh, I'm so happy to be here with you as well. And on that note of happiness, you and your partner have written a seminal book on the good life. And you've nested it on 75 years, I think it is, or maybe it's plus.