How To Know When To Walk Away

**Jake** (0:00)
Before we get into today's episode, a massive thank you to Apple Podcasts for including High Performance in their 2026 Creators We Love campaign. If you've just found the show, welcome. Nice to have you with us. Head to Apple Podcasts to see mine and Damian's favourite episodes from the last six years of High Performance.
Hi there, welcome along to another episode of High Performance with myself and Damian Hughes. So today we are answering a question. How do you know when it's time to walk away? Because I think this is a moment in life that nobody prepares you for, right? Every single one of you listening to this has either done it or is going to have to do it. And sometimes it's forced upon you through ill health. Sometimes it's a retirement. Sometimes you no longer feel like you're in the right place to move forwards. And that moment when you have to stop, leave that job, end that chapter, leave a relationship, a dream, or maybe probably the most painful to leave a version of yourself that you've been fighting so hard to keep alive, we know how hard it is.
Because we've spoken to so many people on this podcast about it, and we're about to reveal some of those guests to you. Because we think The High Performance is all about resilience, and we talk about it often on this show. But it's not just about staying in the game. Sometimes what we've learned is that the bravest, strongest, most, I guess, high performance decisions you will ever make is to say, right, I'm no longer growing here. And I think, Damian, this idea of never quit, it's actually pretty unhealthy. Because sometimes quitting, sometimes walking away is the best thing for us, even if it's a hard thing to do at the time. But I also know it's something we haven't spoken about that much on the show and something our audience definitely is wrestling with.

**Damian Hughes** (1:44)
Yeah, definitely.
It really dawned on me how much we get conditioned to believe that this idea of being relentless and constantly going again and never being complacent, it's sort of woven into our society. Especially when we think about the high performers. The moment it sort of hit me was when we sat down with Steve McLaren.
I grew up as a Manchester United fan and remember that treble winning year in 1999 and McLaren coming in in the February. I'd never thought about until he described it, the intensity of what he'd done. He'd left his family over in Derby, moved to Manchester. He said he was up till two or three o'clock in the morning working on sort of training drills and routines because he knew how intense the scrutiny was of the likes of Roy Keane and the other players in the dressing room.
And then they won the treble and he says he was absolutely spent. And that day that he sort of went to the car after the parade and Alex Ferguson said, Where are you going? I need you back in here tomorrow morning. And then he took the cardboard box round and made them sort of threw all the medals into it. And I remember, there was almost like two parts of me, Jake, like there was part of me going, that's amazing, what a fantastic example. But there was another part going, that's horrendous. Like what about just giving the guy a break and letting him go for a rest and allowing him to walk away and think about what he'd achieved and sort of spend some time doing that. And I think it makes you realize that sometimes we do ourselves a disservice by thinking our high performers are foot to the pedal nonstop, they never quit. And it's actually really, really unhealthy. I mean, there's research on this that says that the people who tend to do well when they're walking away from something always have one thing in common. They don't focus on what they're walking away from. They're more focused on what they're moving towards. And I think once you understand that you're making a transition to something different, whether it's a new identity, a new job, a new location, you're more likely to be able to cope well than constantly sort of leaving a part of you behind in what you used to do or what you used to define yourself by.

**Jake** (3:57)
So good. Well, we're going to hear from Phil Jones in a moment on the exact moment he knew it was over at Man United. Joe Hart on what it felt like when Pep Guardiola told him he didn't fit in. Football manager Sean Dyche on being sacked after nine and a half years and also the month after that that very few people talk about. And Michail Antonio as well on turning down a top six club because he knew it was the wrong move. Right, let's go for it then, Damian. Where shall we begin this magical mystery tour of former High Performance guests?