How to do Stuff: Trick or Treating!

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

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SPEAKER_2 (1:00)

The Hard Shoulder with Ciara Kelly and Shane Colman on Newstalk with Kiya.

Ciara Kelly (1:09)

Oh, it's one of our favorite times of the week when Simon Tierney arrives and schools us on how to do stuff. And this is very timely, I would suggest, Simon, because this week you are going to teach us how to trick or treat correctly.

Simon Tierney (1:22)

Yeah, I don't think it's been done right. We've got a lot of trick or treaters in our area.

We go big on the Halloween. I mean, it's like, honestly, it's like American suburbia out in Southwest Dublin.

Shane Coleman (1:36)

Do I detect a disapproving tone?

Simon Tierney (1:38)

Well, there is a bit. Now, to be fair, I do love the vibe of it. It's great. It's, you know, the whole community gets out, you know, there's a lovely atmosphere on the streets.

Ciara Kelly (1:50)

It's terrifying. Bangers going off and you have to keep your cat in doors. Yeah, I love it.

Simon Tierney (1:55)

But I do think we're doing it wrong. And it's become less transactional. I want it to become more transactional.

Shane Coleman (2:03)

You want to get bang for your buck.

Simon Tierney (2:05)

Yes. So the way trick or treating works now is that kids will rock up to the door and they expect this reward, but it's a reward for nothing. They haven't really done anything. They might have dressed up in a costume. That's great. But last year, there were so many tweens who knocked on our door who have like made...

Ciara Kelly (2:24)

Like a foot taller than me, some of them.

Simon Tierney (2:26)

Yeah. And they've made such a nominal nod gesture to Halloween. Like they've put on a hat or something. And they've got like, there was one group last year, they had pillowcases and they're like, yeah, just shove, just pour it in there, please. Right?

Like, what I want is, I want us to go back to the Gaelic origins of guising, which is when you had to do something, you had to sing for your, yeah, you had to sing for your dinner.

Ciara Kelly (2:55)

You wear a disguise.

Simon Tierney (2:57)

Yes. And it was called guising. So you dressed up in a disguise, but you had to do some sort of performance or provide some sort of entertainment or do a routine. And as a reward for that, you would be given a treat.

Okay. And if you didn't, then there was a trick.

And the trick isn't the entertainment. The trick is the old meaning of that word, which means that there was a threat. So there was a threat involved.

Ciara Kelly (3:25)

So we would squirt them with water pistols or something.

Simon Tierney (3:28)

Exactly. Or you would lob cabbages at the door, or you would knickknack them for the rest of the evening or something like that. Right? That's the Gaelic origin of trick or treat.

Ciara Kelly (3:40)

So it was still performed by the trick or treater.

Simon Tierney (3:42)

Exactly.

Now, in terms of what that performance would be, you know, it could be a joke. For example, I'd like to give the listeners a little suggestion. This is my one for Halloween. Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? Because he had no body to go with it. Or you could do a little dance or a song.

Ciara Kelly (4:04)

So you got a treat. And if you didn't get a treat, you did a trick.

Simon Tierney (4:10)

Yeah, exactly.