How to Become More Likable and Close More Deals

Nicole Lapin (0:00)

Can I say three magical words to you? Apple, cider, donuts. I'm flying to New England with my family, and we are going to do all the cozy fall things. We're starting in Boston, and from there, we're going to drive up to New Hampshire to stay in Concord before going to Vermont, and then heading over to upstate New York. After the heat of the summer, I am so ready to have a Gilmore Girl moment and layer on sweaters while driving under the fall foliage with the windows down. I think I'll even be able to smell snow. And if I can't, well, I'm sure I can still smell the apple cider donuts at the apple farm market between Boston and Concord. The best part about planning this magical trip is that I know I can put a little more apple picking cash in my pocket for the trip by listing our space on Airbnb. And with the co-host network, you can partner with a local pro who has hosting experience and can help take care of all the important details for you. A co-host can help create your listing, manage reservations and make sure everything runs smoothly for guests during their stay. It feels like a practical way to make better use of our space while we're away, while also bringing in a little extra cash from time to time. If you're interested in hosting and want help getting started, find a co-host at airbnb.com/host.

Vanessa Van Edwards (1:11)

Stop talking about how busy you are. The research shows that complaining about how busy you are at work, we think it makes us seem more competent and more successful, but actually people see you as more incompetent.

Nicole Lapin (1:21)

Vanessa Van Edwards is the top behavioral researcher out there, and she's on Money Rehab today to help us be more likable and use those skills to seal actual deals. We talk about how to actually make the best first impression.

Vanessa Van Edwards (1:33)

First impressions are a micro-social skill. Creating a first impression with the actual words is incredibly important. Say what you want people to feel and think about you.

Nicole Lapin (1:41)

The best way to have less awkward small talks.

Vanessa Van Edwards (1:44)

The key is finding facts that light someone up. A fact is a dead end, a story is a doorway. We need to be ready to things. One is as askers, we have to slightly change the fact questions to be a little bit better. But the second thing is you're ready with slightly better answers.

Nicole Lapin (2:01)

And the best way to navigate work events as an introverted extrovert, ask for a friend.

Vanessa Van Edwards (2:06)

Every conversation has a blueprint, and if you know the blueprint, you can easily work it.

Nicole Lapin (2:11)

What's the single most expensive conversation habit that sneak attack is costing people money?

Vanessa Van Edwards (2:16)

Skipping too quickly.

Nicole Lapin (2:21)

I'm Nicole Lapin, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for some Money Rehab. Vanessa Van Edwards, welcome to Money Rehab.

Vanessa Van Edwards (2:37)

Thanks for having me.

Nicole Lapin (2:38)

I am so excited.

Vanessa Van Edwards (2:39)

I got here early so we could gab.

Nicole Lapin (2:40)

Yes, I cannot stop gabbing with you. You are the queen of gab.

Vanessa Van Edwards (2:45)

I love the gab.

Nicole Lapin (2:45)

It's so crazy because in my soul I am such an awkward human and I get really scared of gab and you just make it so easy and so comfortable. So raise your hand if you are an extroverted introvert.

Vanessa Van Edwards (2:59)

Ambevert, yes.

So it's funny because I am a recovering awkward person and I think there are two kinds of awkward and actually we represent both. So you are the awkward, you go quiet, is that right?

Nicole Lapin (3:12)

Yes, so I am still in awkward rehab, on Money Rehab, help me.

Vanessa Van Edwards (3:16)

Yes, but you are recovered. I think you are recovered.

You are doing great, yeah. We are having fun, we can't stop talking. Your producer had to tell us to be quiet. It's a true story.

Nicole Lapin (3:25)

Okay, so maybe I am on the path to recovery, right? The first step to any recovery is to make you have a problem, I am awkward. I thought the awkward in me saw the awkward in you, but then you came here and I was like, there is no awkward, namaste, I see none of it.

Vanessa Van Edwards (3:37)

So there are two kinds of awkward. And it's good to know which one kind you are. So the first kind is you go inward, you go hiding, right? I said earlier that I was hiding, and so one awkward is quiet, inward, shut down, afraid, often gets socially frozen, so overthinking in your head. And that's really hard because it's sort of that deer in the headlights where you then leave it interaction, you're like, I should have said, should have done.