How Do You Offer Financial Guidance to a College Grad?

**Mark Riepe** (0:10)
I'm Mark Riepe, I head up the Schwab Center for Financial Research, and this is Financial Decoder, an original podcast from Charles Schwab. It's a show about financial decision making and the cognitive and emotional biases that can cloud our judgment.
As I record this, it's June, and for a bunch of us, that means graduations. Newly minted college grads will soon be roaming the land. It's a big achievement. If you have a graduate in your life or you're a new graduate yourself, congratulations. It's certainly not a given. In 2025, the graduation rates at four-year colleges and universities was 53.5%.
If one of your kids is a college grad, with luck, they'll earn a paycheck soon. And because you're listening to this podcast, it's a good bet you'll pay attention to financial topics. So you've probably talked to your son or daughter about money before, but it may have been a more theoretical discussion. Now that they have a better job and a bigger payday, things just got real. And in this episode, we're here to help you and your child talk about real world finances. We had a chance to talk with Patrick Means. He's fantastic. He's got some great insights. Patrick is a vice president and branch manager here at Schwab. He's been helping clients with financial planning and investing guidance for more than 20 years. He's been on the show before, and we'll get to his thoughts on what to do with these children who are all grown up and starting a new chapter in their life. In the first part, we'll focus on how to give financial advice to your college graduate and have it land well.
In the second part, we'll focus on some of the relevant decision-making biases that get in the way for younger adults. To properly set your expectations, we're not really giving much financial advice in this episode. Instead, it's about how to give advice so that your knowledge doesn't land on deaf ears or the only feedback you get is some eye-rolling. Also, we'll assume that you're talking to your son or daughter, but you can apply it to any young adult relative or family friend who wants financial advice. So let's jump in.
Now, some of you may be reluctant to give advice because you feel like you need to be financial experts to help your kids. That couldn't be farther from the truth. You don't need to be a financial professional at all. The important thing is that you care. And even if you don't have a lot of expertise, this can be an opportunity for you and your child to learn together.

**Patrick Means** (2:30)
Playing an active role starts with having the conversation. I understand sometimes these conversations are not always easiest because we don't feel like we're a subject matter expert. We don't want to look like we don't have our stuff together. But at the end of the day, our children really do want to engage with us. Timing and how and tone do matter.
But having the conversation is the first step.

**Mark Riepe** (2:56)
We all know that there's a time and place for everything and this conversation is not any different. Is it best to bring the issue up spontaneously or maybe you'd rather schedule it?

**Patrick Means** (3:06)
I respect and really enjoy when I see parents have the holiday time, just the let's get together and during this celebration of whatever, we're going to all talk about goals and we're going to have some dedicated time to just hear you, celebrate you, but then talk about how we can support you in the near term and in long term.

**Mark Riepe** (3:36)
The ideal scenario is for your kid to start asking lots of questions and demonstrating that they're open to input and are interested in what you have to say.
If they don't ask, then it becomes more challenging. Nobody likes unsolicited advice. Giving advice at the wrong time can backfire. It can be dismissed or even resented.

**Patrick Means** (3:54)
If you give unsolicited directives to their child where the tone is, I'm the parent and you're the child.
That is effective when your child is 8 years old, right? Not as effective when they're an emerging adult. So what I've seen to be incredibly effective is showing excitement about their specific passions and goals, not necessarily your own, and then asking them how you can support them to get to the goals that they just defined they're excited about.

**Mark Riepe** (4:33)
A key aspect of being an adult is you have more autonomy. It's literally built into our legal system where when you reach certain ages, you can legally do things that you couldn't do before. As an advice giver, you need to respect that autonomy. Don't give controlling advice. Instead, offer your guidance as suggestions with rationales. Don't pummel them with directives. It helps to think of your role as shifting to that of a consultant. You're providing support as needed, but you're not controlling your kids' decisions. And it's hard to shift that mindset. For example, I just said you're not controlling your kids' decision. But the reality is that they're not kids any longer. And that's why that phrase emerging adult is so important. The good news is that if you suggest sound financial practices and explain the rationale well, your son or daughter will be more open and cooperative. They will feel that you support their independence, which is critical.