How do we avoid the fear of falling off the wagon?

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The Hard Shoulder, with Ciara Kelly and Shane Colman. On Newstalk, with Ciara.

Ciara Kelly (0:08)

Now I'm back on the fitness wagon. I am terrified of falling off it again, writes Tanya Sweeney in today's Irish Independent. But how do you stay on the wagon and why do we keep falling off?

Especially how do you keep your motivation going? Joining us now to discuss this is Tanya Sweeney, features writer and columnist with the Irish Independent John Belton, personal and wellness trainer. Tanya, I feel seen because I went to the gym this morning and I hadn't been there in a month and I'm not even going to pretend otherwise it was hellish. But I was glad I went, but I too have had fallen off this wagon and was now trying to claw my way back on. Tell me where you were at and tell me why you were terrified that it won't last.

Tanya Sweeney (0:51)

Well, the reason I wrote the column is because, you know, I find myself in a sort of healthful phase right now. So I'm kind of locked in, I'm focused, I'm getting up in the morning, and, you know, I'm making kind of all the right decisions. I'm going for walks and, you know, training and all the rest of it. I'm boring myself even by saying it all, right? But anyway, it's all going fine. But I said it to a couple of friends of mine, and I was like, are you still doing your strength training that you were doing? They were like, no, I'm not. That was their whole thing. They were like, as if I'd still be doing it, you know? There was, and I just remember thinking, gosh, you know, we're not always, you know, doing something healthy at the same time. We've always fallen off the wagon or someone's on the wagon. And it's never just a thing that is going full-time. Have you ever noticed how men just go to football five a side on a Wednesday? The end. There's no kind of faffing about with it. They just do it and they shut up. Whereas women are just either, you know, in the zone or they're not in the zone. And I just thought it was something really interesting that I wanted to explore in the column.

Ciara Kelly (1:51)

I feel as if I've been in the zone for like it's been a long time since I've missed the gym for a month, to be honest. I'd say I've been in the zone for about two years and I was at the smug point of thinking I wasn't going to fall off the wagon again. But then it turns around once you do. It's like it's a train in front of you moving. And once you're on it, you just chug along on it. But when you do fall off, then it's like racing past you and jumping back on is incredibly hard.

Tanya Sweeney (2:14)

You can't even go near it. You're looking at it heading off into the horizon.

Ciara Kelly (2:17)

And I didn't want to go this morning either. But I was like, oh, this can't continue. Because I know I actually feel physically better when I do it. But I don't know how...

You make that point about men being a bit different, that they just do it. Is that not... Does that say something about our self-discipline or something? Because I think that about myself too, if I just need to make myself do it. I don't always have the motivation. Sometimes I have to walk the walk without feeling the feel.

Tanya Sweeney (2:45)

See, I think what it is, right, and I did write this into the column, is that for women, exercise is tied up in so much more than maybe it is for guys.

It's tied up into our self-worth, it's tied up into our esteem.

We're always... I think a lot of us are really thinking, not quite about health gains all the time, and we are thinking about getting into that smaller dress size or whatever, or obviously Christmas coming up now, the gyms are really... People are going full-peld, but they have that goal in mind, and I'm not sure they're necessarily thinking long-term health benefits all the time. And yeah, I think it's just something that women see as something you do when you're adulting properly, and we do have a motivation issue because I think that the problem, and maybe this is what happened with Duke here, is going back in for the first time is always this big mental problem. I mean, you probably won't have any problem getting up tomorrow and going because you've broken the seal, so to speak. But I think when you're off the wagon... And it happens a lot. We have life events happening. I mean, I had a medical thing like last week and I was told not to go near the gym. And of course, I panicked because I was like, oh, no, I'm going to get pulled off the wagon and it's not even going to be my fault.