Hour 4: Carton Predicts a Jets Shocking Upset Over the Patriots

Craig Carton (0:00)

Looking for a 2-888-808-109 is the number. You know the rules about whistling indoors, don't do that.

Chris McMonigle (0:07)

Do I know the rules about whistling indoors?

Craig Carton (0:09)

Yeah, it's bad luck.

Chris McMonigle (0:10)

That's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_3 (0:13)

That's just ridiculous.

Craig Carton (0:14)

It's bad luck. Yeah? Yeah.

Chris McMonigle (0:17)

Where do you think Paul Simon recorded me and Julio down by the schoolyard?

Craig Carton (0:21)

Not indoors.

SPEAKER_3 (0:22)

No, you think it was outside?

Craig Carton (0:23)

He might have been in a recording studio.

SPEAKER_3 (0:25)

Take Bobby McFerrin.

Craig Carton (0:26)

That doesn't count.

SPEAKER_4 (0:26)

Take Bobby McFerrin, who lived a blessed life.

Craig Carton (0:30)

I don't have many rules. I don't ask much.

Chris McMonigle (0:31)

Just saying.

Craig Carton (0:32)

Just obey the rules.

Chris McMonigle (0:33)

People have been whistling indoors since whistling was invented.

Craig Carton (0:36)

You whistle outside.

Chris McMonigle (0:37)

No. You whistle while you work. I work indoors.

Craig Carton (0:40)

You're not allowed to whistle indoors.

Chris McMonigle (0:41)

I disagree.

Craig Carton (0:42)

It's a rule.

Ask any Eastern European. You're not allowed to whistle indoors. It's bad luck.

Chris McMonigle (0:47)

I'm sorry. I don't believe in that.

Craig Carton (0:49)

Do you believe in the Maloyk?

Chris McMonigle (0:51)

A little bit. Depends. If you really deserve it. But you do a little bit. I guess, you know.

Craig Carton (0:56)

Guess what? No whistling indoors. No. Sorry.

Chris McMonigle (0:59)

I don't listen.

Craig Carton (1:00)

Okay.

Chris McMonigle (1:00)

Sorry.

Craig Carton (1:00)

And you can't put your keys on the table either. Where are your keys? They're not on the table, are they?

SPEAKER_3 (1:05)

In my pocket. Don't put them on the table. You lose money.

Craig Carton (1:06)

You put your keys on the table, you lose money.

Chris McMonigle (1:08)

This is my dragon.

Craig Carton (1:09)

What is that?

Chris McMonigle (1:10)

Smog.

Craig Carton (1:11)

What is that contraption?

Chris McMonigle (1:13)

It's my beer opening dragon.

Craig Carton (1:15)

It's actually a bottle opener?

Chris McMonigle (1:17)

Yeah, it's a bottle opener.

Craig Carton (1:17)

There you go. Nice. Don't put them on the table, you lose money.

SPEAKER_4 (1:21)

That's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_3 (1:22)

Okay.

SPEAKER_4 (1:24)

Don't put.

SPEAKER_3 (1:24)

Put your keys on the table.

Chris McMonigle (1:25)

I don't put shoes on the table, that's for sure. You don't put shoes on the table.

Craig Carton (1:28)

Why would you ever put shoes on the table anyway?

Chris McMonigle (1:29)

Even if you have a brand new, like a new box of shoes, put them on the table.

SPEAKER_3 (1:32)

Oh yeah, put them on the table.

Chris McMonigle (1:32)

No.

Craig Carton (1:33)

I have a brand new, like in the box?

SPEAKER_4 (1:35)

Yes.

Craig Carton (1:35)

No problem with that.

Chris McMonigle (1:36)

No shoes on the table.

Craig Carton (1:37)

But that's not an Eastern European thing.

SPEAKER_4 (1:38)

I don't care.

Craig Carton (1:39)

Well, I'm from Eastern Europe.

Chris McMonigle (1:40)

I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_3 (1:41)

We have a thing. You don't whistle in doors.

Craig Carton (1:43)

And you don't put your keys on the table.

Chris McMonigle (1:45)

I will not mask my emotion. If I'm happy and I want to whistle, I don't care where I am. I whistle.

Craig Carton (1:50)

Not in doors you don't. Yes, I do. Not if I'm here you don't. You can whistle when you do the go get in podcast. That's all you want. You ain't whistling here, buddy. I just did. No, you're not. And I stopped it. I had to put an end to it.

Because the audience knows. If you're Russian, you're Polish, you're Ukrainian, any of those Eastern block European countries.

Chris McMonigle (2:07)

I appreciate that.

Craig Carton (2:08)

Great grandmas said, don't whistle in doors is bad luck.

Chris McMonigle (2:12)

I'm sorry.

Craig Carton (2:13)

Yes. The boogeyman comes for you.

SPEAKER_3 (2:15)

I'll deal with him.

Craig Carton (2:16)

If that's what you want, that's what you're going to get.

SPEAKER_3 (2:17)

I'll deal with the boogeyman. Is that right? Yeah.

Craig Carton (2:19)

Okay. You deal with the boogeyman then. You put your keys on the table too.

Chris McMonigle (2:23)

If you're flaunting all the rules, then flaunt them.

SPEAKER_3 (2:26)

I don't.

Craig Carton (2:26)

Flaunt the rules.

SPEAKER_4 (2:27)

It's flaunt the rules.

SPEAKER_3 (2:29)

Flaunt.

Craig Carton (2:29)

It's not flaut.

SPEAKER_4 (2:31)

Is it?

Craig Carton (2:31)

That's an instrument.

Chris McMonigle (2:32)

It's not flaunt the rules.

SPEAKER_3 (2:34)

Flaunt the rules.

Craig Carton (2:35)

Yes, it's flaunt. Don't flaunt the rules.