Hour 3: Craig Carton Bets a Giants Fan Over Season Win Totals

Craig Carton (0:00)

It's completely unacceptable for an American human being not to know how to ride a bicycle. It means that your parents didn't love you.

Surprising, it put you up for adoption, as a matter of fact. Just give it a buck with you. I love you, which is why Big Mac and I are gonna get you a bicycle, and we're gonna teach you how to ride it.

Chris McMonigle (0:22)

We'll start with training wheels.

Craig Carton (0:23)

That's right.

Chris McMonigle (0:24)

And then we'll take them off.

Craig Carton (0:25)

An Amazon gift card would go just as far.

No, no, that's your holiday gift. That's what you're getting.

SPEAKER_3 (0:31)

That's done.

Craig Carton (0:32)

Pete, he's getting five grand in dinner. You're getting a bicycle, and our attention to teach you how to ride it.

Chris McMonigle (0:40)

Give him a Grubhub gift card, he gets dinner. Teach a man how to ride a bike to the restaurant, he eats forever.

SPEAKER_3 (0:46)

I got the archery.

Chris McMonigle (0:46)

That's how it works.

SPEAKER_3 (0:47)

Okay.

Chris McMonigle (0:49)

Just go with it.

Craig Carton (0:53)

I'm gonna get Joy out of it too. Stop falling down.

Get up.

Chris McMonigle (0:58)

You're embarrassing yourself. Hey, me.

Craig Carton (1:02)

Oh.

Chris McMonigle (1:03)

You're no son of mine.

Craig Carton (1:04)

Yeah. Now, some people teach themselves how to ride a bike like I did. My parents didn't love me either. First grade, I taught myself how to ride a bike. It's not that hard, by the way.

Like, we're making it so much bigger than this. You think I can do it. I just think you're afraid of it.

Chris McMonigle (1:17)

I think you can do it now. You gotta just, yeah, you gotta just keep pedaling. Just don't stop pedaling.

Craig Carton (1:20)

That's all you have to do is just pedal.

Chris McMonigle (1:21)

Just don't stop pedaling. And falling just seems a lot worse now than when I was a kid.

Craig Carton (1:25)

You scrape your knee a little bit, wear jeans and put some... I know you got knee pads at home, you're engaged. So just put those on and you're pulled on.

Chris McMonigle (1:34)

That's it.

Craig Carton (1:36)

Elbow pads, knee pads.

SPEAKER_4 (1:37)

We'll do it on grass. Yeah.

Chris McMonigle (1:40)

We'll go to a park somewhere.

Craig Carton (1:42)

You should learn on a beach. I can't make the wheels go. What's going on?

Chris McMonigle (1:48)

Also enough with the beach bikes.

Craig Carton (1:50)

Yeah. Are you concerned in Brooklyn this weekend that you're going to be washed out with the torrential downpours and the storm that's coming through? No. No, but you're on the water there.

SPEAKER_4 (2:00)

I'll be fine.

Craig Carton (2:00)

Well, you're closer to the water than like I am.

Chris McMonigle (2:02)

I won't be able to go anywhere like.

Craig Carton (2:04)

And Big Mac, you have no problems.

SPEAKER_4 (2:06)

You're not near the water.

Chris McMonigle (2:07)

I'm not near the water, no.

SPEAKER_4 (2:08)

Yeah.

Craig Carton (2:08)

Well, what's the closest body to you? The Hudson River in Orange County, right?

SPEAKER_4 (2:13)

Probably, right?

Chris McMonigle (2:13)

Probably.

SPEAKER_4 (2:14)

The water off the mountains.

Craig Carton (2:15)

You got the ocean.

Is it the other thing, though? There's a chance your apartment gets swept away. I'm just bringing it out there. Yeah. That's which we, you know, you'd be displaced, but you'd save Big Macs if you absolutely can. Yeah, you got to. I'll stay with you. I know. No room for you. None whatsoever. Here's Matt and Bayside on the fan. Matt, what's going on, kiddo?

SPEAKER_4 (2:35)

Hey, what's going on, guys? Thanks for taking my call.

Craig Carton (2:37)

Yeah.

SPEAKER_5 (2:39)

First of all, let's go jet.

Craig Carton (2:41)

Yeah.

SPEAKER_4 (2:41)

All right. I just want to throw that in there. Let's go jets.

Craig Carton (2:43)

There you go.

SPEAKER_4 (2:44)

Yeah. And it's unfortunate what happened to Jaxson Dart. Although, I want to ask you guys, who's the better team now?

Craig Carton (2:53)

Jets.

SPEAKER_4 (2:54)

You know, thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. That's where I was going with that.

Craig Carton (2:58)

It's not even up for debate. The Jets have their starting quarterback.

SPEAKER_4 (3:02)

The Giants don't.

Craig Carton (3:02)

That's it. It's a wrap.

By the way, and I'm not even saying that the Jets are going to win 10 games. I don't think they are. But today, if you could trade rosters based on injuries, you would take the Jet roster over the Giants roster. And that's not being anything but factually accurate. The New York Jets today have a better roster than the New York Giants do. Not up for debate.