Hour 3: Carton Slams the 'Thicker Kicker' and the Mentally Weak Yankees

Craig Carton (0:00)

It's hard to say that that massage I bought you for your birthday, if you haven't used it yet, you're not gonna be able to. That place got shut down.

Chris McMonigle (0:11)

Crystal Palace?

Craig Carton (0:14)

Where's that one? I don't know. Or they all called it, is that like a...

Chris McMonigle (0:18)

I don't know, yeah, it's the cliched name, I think.

Craig Carton (0:20)

Yeah, the cliched name. But here's the thing I don't get. This place got shut down.

Somebody called 9-1-1 to say that the place, Masquerading as a Massage Parlor, was actually offering more. And an undercover cop went in, and they offered him for an extra 100 bucks, you know, basically whatever he wanted. So now they shut the place down. But who would rat them out? Like, who is, you know, how would you know?

Chris McMonigle (0:45)

Who's ruining a good time?

Craig Carton (0:46)

But I'm saying, how would you know that's happening? Unless, like, your husband, you know, like, that kind of thing, right?

Chris McMonigle (0:53)

You see people coming in and out of it all times of night.

Craig Carton (0:57)

Yeah, but it was actually a real massage place too. They just offered extra off-the-menu services. So I'm just wondering, who called 911 to complain about that, right?

SPEAKER_3 (1:08)

Well, maybe like a real massage parlor that was around the corner.

Craig Carton (1:11)

Losing all the business out to the East Garden Spa. Like, yeah, but where's everybody? We have the best masseuses in town, son of a gun. I don't get it.

Chris McMonigle (1:19)

What don't we provide?

SPEAKER_4 (1:21)

Yeah, well, now you know. Now you know.

Craig Carton (1:22)

Can you have Gallicum grab my ice cream and put it back in the freezer, please? Thank you. Steve's in Leviton. I'm the fan. Steve, how are you, buddy?

SPEAKER_4 (1:29)

Hey, what's up, guys?

Craig Carton (1:31)

What's up?

SPEAKER_4 (1:31)

I want to talk about the match-up between the Patriots and the Jets.

Craig Carton (1:35)

Yeah.

SPEAKER_4 (1:36)

And I'm looking at this. I'm looking at this trying to be objective because I am a huge Jet fan. The only advantage I see the Patriots having is they have a better coach, especially if we get Omar Cooper back this week, we get Brice Hall back this week, we get Adonai Mitchell back this week.

Craig Carton (1:54)

Yeah.

SPEAKER_4 (1:55)

We have a better receiving call, we have better running backs, we have a better offensive line, we have a better defensive line.

Craig Carton (2:01)

I agree.

SPEAKER_4 (2:03)

I agree. The quarterback to me is a wash because I think Gino is just as good as him. And I think we have a very, very good chance of winning this one. I agree with everything you said. And I can't wait for it because I want to destroy the Patriots because I hate them.

Craig Carton (2:18)

Yeah. Me too. By the way, from a take-all motion out of it, just be objective.

You could argue the quarterback thing. Sure, I have no problem with that. You can't. But you can't argue. I mean, you're going to have to bring up last year to really win the argument, and that's fine. Back up for the MVP run-up, right?

Chris McMonigle (2:35)

No, you can bring up. That's fine. The way he's looked over the last two weeks, he's looking much better.

Craig Carton (2:40)

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_4 (2:42)

I don't deny it. I know. Two weeks ago. He went down the field and put it in the air zone and beat him.

Craig Carton (2:46)

I got no problem with that. If you want to say edge to them over the last two weeks, I'm fine with that. But everything else he said is right.

Chris McMonigle (2:54)

To the Patriots.

Craig Carton (2:55)

But they're not a better team top to bottom talent-wise. They're not.

Are they better coach? Sure they are.

Chris McMonigle (3:02)

Which means a hell of a lot in the NFL.

Craig Carton (3:03)

Yes. But they're not a better team by that much.

Chris McMonigle (3:05)

No, I agree. I went on a rant before about all the weapons the Jets have offensively.

SPEAKER_4 (3:09)

But there's no point. Here's the thing.

Craig Carton (3:11)

And I think the point you're trying to make is rightfully so.

And whatever Jets fan is feeling emotionally now is, it doesn't matter if our talent doesn't actually rise to the occasion. Like what's the point of having great talent if they don't actually perform like the great players we think they are? And that's going to be...