Hinge expert shares dating advice for ambitious nerds

**Sam Parr** (0:00)
All right, so our friend, Logan Ury, she's a behavioral scientist turned dating coach. And according to the analytics on this podcast, 93% of you listeners, you're men. And a lot of you are young, and according to the data, a lot of you are also single. And so we thought it'd be cool to have Logan come on to talk about dating. And it's shockingly just like building a business and that there's actually a process that you could follow. You can iterate yourself there. And Logan actually broke down how Shaan and I met our spouses and gave a bunch of useful tips on how to meet someone. And it's all backed by science. And honestly, it's pretty hilarious. So check out this episode on how to meet your future spouse. Logan is a behavioral scientist. I know you, Logan, as just my good friend. But you also had a book called How Not to Die Alone. And now you're on this tear where you've become a little bit of an expert when it comes to dating, but also with masculinity. I just think you're a great conversationalist and a wonderful person. And you're really, really smart. And you have a lot of data to back a lot of your opinions.

**Shaan Puri** (1:09)
And you have a Netflix show. You have the something, something, something high up on the research side at Hinge. Is that right?

**Logan Ury** (1:16)
Yeah, the Director of Relationship Science. But sometimes people just call me the something, something, something.

**Shaan Puri** (1:22)
Yeah, you can put that on your LinkedIn.
Sam, I gotta tell you a story. I think I've been sitting on this story for a little while. So I met Logan for the first, you know Logan well. She's your friend. I met Logan for the first time at a conference recently. She walks up to me. I reach out my hand to basically shake her hand. She goes straight for my face and just starts fixing my eyebrows. Logan doesn't, we haven't met. She hasn't introduced herself. She's just fixing my eyebrows for me because they're all bushy and crazy. And then she's like, oh, she's like, my dad has crazy eyebrows. And then I just go, what? And by the way, I'm sitting down like a dog. I'm sitting at the lunch table. So I'm like a pet. She's petting me. And I just thought the confidence that this woman must have. She must come on the show because nobody has that confidence to do that. High agency. Isn't that an insane move?

**Sam Parr** (2:16)
That's a high agency move.

**Shaan Puri** (2:18)
It was one of the craziest things anyone's ever done. Logan, explain yourself.

**Logan Ury** (2:21)
I think I did say, can I touch your face? But then you didn't seem that into it. And then I was like, that was the weirdo thing to do.

**Shaan Puri** (2:29)
Well, did you feel more intimate with her? Did you think I was going to be into it?

**Logan Ury** (2:31)
But Sean, I did make an impression on you.

**Shaan Puri** (2:34)
You did. Honestly, I never forgot. I went home and my daughter since then has just been coming up to me and doing it. And she's like, you know what I'm doing? And I was like, yeah, you're doing the thing that girl did. She goes, yeah. And this is my five year old. That's so funny.

**Logan Ury** (2:46)
I couldn't be more happy about this intro.

**Sam Parr** (2:49)
Well, I feel Logan, I feel like you are incredibly confident, but you're also like, in a good way, you're like conniving. I don't know a better word where it's like you see like the end goal and you're like, I'm going to experiment with this, this, this and this. I'm just going to follow this process. I don't know a better word to describe it. Calculating. You try things. And I think you said, you know, you you had a bunch of clients where you would teach them how to date and you said men were the easiest ones because you would say, like, look, you need to lose weight. You need to dress better and then you need to get a haircut. And I need you to then go up and say these five words to this woman.
And I need you to do that 50 times and they would go, yes, ma'am. And then you would tell a woman the same thing and she'd be like, well, you're screwed up too. Or you know what I mean? Like there was like a difference of of like how people would react to your instruction.

**Logan Ury** (3:36)