Greg Fitzsimmons Talks Dildos, Bathrobes, and Old Man Boners + Biohacker Bryan Johnson Has Incurable Disease

**Adam Carolla** (0:00)
So, in this episode, Greg Fitzsimmons, Fitzdog, great comedian, comes back to join me. Also, News with awesome Dawson, and we'll do all that right after this.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:12)
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**Greg Fitzsimmons** (0:25)
Fantastic.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:26)
The Matrix Trilogy.

**Mike Dawson** (0:27)
Welcome to the real world.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:29)
Mean Girls.
Titanic. I'm the key in the world. And so much more. For Showtimes, press nothing. They're free 24-7.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:38)
That is so fetch.

**SPEAKER_2** (0:39)
On Pluto TV. Stream now, pay never.

**SPEAKER_5** (0:44)
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**Mike Dawson** (1:20)
From Corolla One Studios in Glendale, California, this is The Adam Corolla Show.
Adam's guest today, Greg Fitzsimmons. Plus the news with me, Mike Dawson, and now, Adam Corolla.

**Adam Carolla** (1:33)
Yeah, get it on. You got to get it on, the church is gonna make you get it on, man.

**SPEAKER_6** (1:38)
Thanks for tuning in.

**Adam Carolla** (1:39)
Thanks for telling a friend.
Love that about you. Fitz Dogg, Greg Fitzsimmons in the studio. He's got dates. You got to catch him before he retires, man.
He may be retiring, and when he goes, it's going to be like that song, American Pie. It's going to be the day the comedy died. Right. So you want to catch him where you can. Levity Live, Oxnard, coming up. That's on the 11th of July, and then on the 12th, Huntington Beach, Mamba, and then heading on out to Pittsburgh at the improv. That'll be the 24th, 25th of July. All in July.

**Greg Fitzsimmons** (2:20)
So instead of driving my Chevy to the Levy, I'm going to drive my Chevy to the Levity Live.

**Adam Carolla** (2:24)
Yeah. I remember hearing that song when I was a young kid growing up in North Hollywood, and it's like, drove my Chevy, got it, to the Levy. Don't know what the fuck that is.
Drinking rye, drinking whiskey and rye. Whiskey and rye. Know what whiskey is, not sure about the rye. And also, how big a problem do you have with alcohol that you need a bottle of whiskey and rye? I could just stick with the rye, I could go with the whiskey. What are you drinking whiskey and rye?

**Greg Fitzsimmons** (2:54)
It's like a Long Island iced tea. Do I need four different alcohols in my one drink?

**Adam Carolla** (2:59)
Yeah, yeah.

**Greg Fitzsimmons** (3:00)
What's going on in Long Island?

**Adam Carolla** (3:02)
A lot of Chubby Chasers.

**Greg Fitzsimmons** (3:03)
Yeah, right. If you're a little overweight, ladies, head on out to Manisquan.

**Adam Carolla** (3:10)
Home.

**Greg Fitzsimmons** (3:10)
No, not Manisquan.

**Adam Carolla** (3:12)
Oh, in Long Island. You would know better than me.

**Greg Fitzsimmons** (3:14)
Yeah, well, you got...

**Adam Carolla** (3:15)
Massapequa?

**Greg Fitzsimmons** (3:16)
Yeah, Massapequa, that's what I meant.

**Adam Carolla** (3:18)
That's what you meant.

**Greg Fitzsimmons** (3:19)
Yeah.

**Adam Carolla** (3:19)
Geez, come on, you're a local, man.

**Greg Fitzsimmons** (3:22)
Well, I'm from the better suburb. I'm from Westchester, which was a little more interesting than Long Island.

**Adam Carolla** (3:28)
Right, but Massapequa can claim the bald ones. They can claim Jerry Seinfeld.

**Greg Fitzsimmons** (3:35)
Rosie O'Donnell.

**Adam Carolla** (3:36)
Rosie O'Donnell and Steve Gutenberg.

**Greg Fitzsimmons** (3:40)
No.

**Adam Carolla** (3:41)
Yes, the Berg, the Gutenberg. All basically the same, you know, graduating class. I mean, not the same year, but you know what I mean? Like of the same few years.

**Greg Fitzsimmons** (3:54)
Unbelievable.

**Adam Carolla** (3:55)
Massapequa. North Hollywood's got me and Christie Canyon.

**Greg Fitzsimmons** (4:01)
Similar time?

**Adam Carolla** (4:05)
Yeah. Tell me if this is wrong. Tell me if this is morally wrong.
I was watching the two part, I think it's a two part special on Ron Jeremy.

**Greg Fitzsimmons** (4:18)
Sure.

**Adam Carolla** (4:18)
And basically the story is he was a serial rapist, but they kept showing so many old throwback scenes from old movies.

**Greg Fitzsimmons** (4:28)
Yeah.

**Adam Carolla** (4:29)
I had to rub one out to the Rape Movie at some point, which again, not good juju. But I mean, how many old clips of him and Chrissy Canyon you're going to throw up on my fucking 80-incher before I got to make a trip to the bathroom. Like, sorry Ron. Listen ladies, I know this is done with a heavy heart and a hand.