Giggling about mermaids, masculinity, and catfishing

**Hannah Berner** (0:15)
Right before the pod starts, I'm always like, oh my God, I have so many things to tell Hannah. And then the pod starts and I'm like, that's scary. What's my name?

**Paige DeSorbo** (0:23)
How did you find me? Who are you?

**Hannah Berner** (0:26)
I just wrote one note, tell myself to wake up.

**Paige DeSorbo** (0:31)
Well, can we just say this is an early morning pod? We have to warn people when it is, because it does have a different je ne sais quoi to it. Yeah.

**Hannah Berner** (0:38)
Yes. Not good, not better, not worse.

**Paige DeSorbo** (0:40)
Just slightly different.

**Lois Berner** (0:42)
Interesting.

**SPEAKER_1** (0:44)
They're in a different headspace today.

**Paige DeSorbo** (0:47)
Oh, the mornings.

**Hannah Berner** (0:49)
Okay, no, I have a hack, okay? You know how I'm always like waking up in the middle of the night doing weird things? She's a night owl.

**Paige DeSorbo** (0:59)
She's a vampire.

**Hannah Berner** (1:01)
I think before I go to sleep, I think I'm like annoyed that I know I'm going to wake up at like three or four in the morning. So we did a science experiment the other night.
Right before I went to bed, I said, Paige, I said it out loud too, and in my head a little bit. I said, Paige, you're waking up at 7 a.m. Because I have an amazing internal clock. I've never slept through an alarm in my life. Like, I wake up 30 minutes before I have to wake up, and then I like ease myself into it. It's a big thing, or I get a stomach ache. Anyway, so I did that the other night, and it worked.

**Paige DeSorbo** (1:38)
This podcast is just an internal dialogue of us fighting our demons. And you're like, this is what's going on in the dark depths of the night inside my head.
Wait, so you manifested waking up at the right time.

**Hannah Berner** (1:51)
I manifested. Yeah, I told my body, hey, cut it out. We don't need to wake up at 4 a.m. And I did like a slight wake up, but not like an overly.

**Paige DeSorbo** (2:03)
When you wake up in the middle of the night, does your heart start going? Because you're like, oh shit, I'm awake and I can't go back to sleep. Okay, sorry, I didn't want to put that in the ether. Don't listen to that.

**Hannah Berner** (2:11)
When something is like physically going on in my life, that's like causing me angst, I will wake up super early with like tight chest, heart palpitations.

**Paige DeSorbo** (2:21)
Are we on the therapy Zoom? I go, and that's why Will Butrin is recommended? We had a different night last night. Well, okay, I have the kids.
I have Lois and Bobby, my niece and nephew.

**Hannah Berner** (2:37)
You've been treating me like you're a new mom. Like I call you with problems and you're like, I don't know, call someone who has time.

**SPEAKER_1** (2:45)
I have kids.

**Paige DeSorbo** (2:46)
I fully haven't checked my text messages all day. I don't know how moms have time to, I can't shower. Like it's been chaos.
Lois is literally you reincarnated.

**Hannah Berner** (2:59)
Yeah, Lois is everything I want my daughter to be. She's spunky, she's sassy, and she's stylish, honey.

**Paige DeSorbo** (3:07)
But I think that she looks a lot of photos of us and me wearing these like cool outfits. So when she sees me, she expects me to be in like a beautiful dress.

**Hannah Berner** (3:18)
Yeah, she expects you to have done glam before she arrives because she's proper.

**SPEAKER_1** (3:25)
Yeah, she's like, what's going on here?

**Paige DeSorbo** (3:27)
You know, kids wake up at like the crack of dawn.

**Hannah Berner** (3:29)
She goes, Mom, Aunt Hannah's catfishing us. We got to get out of here.

**Paige DeSorbo** (3:35)
Well, the real some shady, please stand up because that's not my Aunt Hannah. So she wakes up at the crack of dawn, and then I'm in my bedroom sleeping. So she's, I think, assuming that I'm like getting ready for her.
So then when I come out, look in how I look in the morning, she's not happy. I walk out, and I see her smile turn to a frown, and she goes, we need to change your outfit. This is me wearing my pajamas, my hair's a mess. She goes, we need to change your outfit. And I'm like, let me have some coffee, let me start my day. We need to change your outfit. I say, okay.
She takes me into my room. She goes, show me the dresses.