Framed in the First Degree - Act 1

Mark Atherlay (0:24)

Tonight's episode, Framed in the First Degree.

Glenn Carlson (0:32)

Names Park, Harding Park, a shameless with a shingle in Fairfog City, and this is my story. It was a typical little Wodan's day. Calvin the Fog was still hanging around, dropping visibility to zero, and crime to minus one. Cases had vanished, and my chits were being called in, loudly. To cover my bar tabs, I bet on the ponies, the dogs, even the condors. Lost every feather. And now some very serious algorithms had my last roll of nickels on their books. If a new case didn't knock on my door in the next ten seconds, that would be it. Curtains, a wrap, the final straw.

The Coup de Grace, the Busta Piñata. What were the odds of that? Come in.

The door swung open and she waltzed into my life.

Marilynn Fowler (1:31)

Are you Harding Park, Fog City's second best radio detective?

Glenn Carlson (1:36)

She had the kind of curves made you think Euclid Flunk Geometry.

Marilynn Fowler (1:41)

Did you say Euclid?

Glenn Carlson (1:42)

No.

Gotta be careful around this time. She'd notice the monologue. How can I help, Miss...?

Marilynn Fowler (1:48)

Fields. Chrissy Fields. The exotic ballroom dancer.

Glenn Carlson (1:53)

The name sounded vaguely familiar, but then most names do.

Marilynn Fowler (1:57)

Mr. Park.

Glenn Carlson (1:58)

Yeah?

Marilynn Fowler (1:59)

My boyfriend.

Glenn Carlson (2:00)

Go on.

Marilynn Fowler (2:01)

He's been...

Glenn Carlson (2:02)

Been?

Marilynn Fowler (2:02)

Murdered!

Glenn Carlson (2:04)

Huh. Tell me what happened and if it ends with me getting paid, I'll believe every word.

Marilynn Fowler (2:09)

Last night, after my set, I went over to my boyfriend's McMansion and I found him on the floor in the billiard room. Dead.

Glenn Carlson (2:21)

Shot.

Marilynn Fowler (2:23)

Fatally. With a gun.

Glenn Carlson (2:26)

Your boyfriend got a name?

Marilynn Fowler (2:27)

Clayton Ashbury.

Glenn Carlson (2:29)

Clayton Ashbury? Dead? I couldn't believe it. Who'd want to-

Marilynn Fowler (2:33)

I hated him.

Not a day went by I didn't want to be free of his phony carbon offset racket. Once and for all.

Glenn Carlson (2:41)

I gave Ms. Fields a second once over. Nothing I hadn't seen before. Ballet slippers, black micro mini skirt, white turtleneck, feather boa from condors.com, sombrero with matching handbag, large caliber pistol...

Marilynn Fowler (2:56)

I know how it looks Mr. Park. It looks bad.

Glenn Carlson (3:00)

Well I'm no fashion critic but the sombrero's a felony.

Marilynn Fowler (3:03)

Take it.

Glenn Carlson (3:04)

And the gun.

Marilynn Fowler (3:05)

Here.

Glenn Carlson (3:06)

Barrel's warm.

Marilynn Fowler (3:07)

Oh, from the sun on the dashboard.

Glenn Carlson (3:11)

The sun?

Marilynn Fowler (3:11)

The midnight sun.

Glenn Carlson (3:14)

I smell gunpowder.

Marilynn Fowler (3:15)

China Beach munitions dump. Stinks up my hair something fierce.

Glenn Carlson (3:20)

Her story smelled worse than week old clam chowder. This was looking like the easiest case of my career.

Unless she'd been framed.

Marilynn Fowler (3:29)

I've been framed!

Glenn Carlson (3:31)

Damn.

I could have sent her up the river. I should have sent her up the river. But my last roll of nickels was light, and I wasn't leading this stance. I'll take the case.

Marilynn Fowler (3:42)

Are you talking to me?

Glenn Carlson (3:43)

Who else would I be talking to?

Marilynn Fowler (3:45)

Thank you, Mr. Park.

Glenn Carlson (3:46)

It's gonna cost you.

Marilynn Fowler (3:48)

How much?

Glenn Carlson (3:49)

More than you can imagine.

Marilynn Fowler (3:50)

How much is that?

Glenn Carlson (3:51)

How much can you imagine?

Marilynn Fowler (3:52)

I don't know. A thousand dollars?

Glenn Carlson (3:55)

Then more than a thousand dollars it is. Shake?

Marilynn Fowler (3:58)

Well...

Glenn Carlson (3:59)

No, I mean shake.

Marilynn Fowler (4:01)

Mr. Park?

Glenn Carlson (4:02)

Watch me get my rumba on.

Marilynn Fowler (4:06)

Mr. Park, please! Take off my sombrero.

Glenn Carlson (4:15)

Chrissy Fox trotted out of my office. I went to stash her heater, and the drawer was empty. Where was my gun? I checked my holster. Empty. My backup holster. Nada. Groped around my backup backup holster, and ah! Huh? Just a roll of nickels. That's when I took a closer look at Chrissy's gun.

Uh-oh.

Time to call for some reinforcement.

Inspector Doyle McCoppin Jr., son of my old partner from the force, Doyle McCoppin Sr. Ah, the old man's gone now. But the kid still wears the turd.

Gavin Hammon (5:00)

Situation room. McCoppin.

Glenn Carlson (5:03)

Doyle, I'm in big trouble and need your help. Mom?

What? No, it's Harding. Ha ha.

Gavin Hammon (5:09)

Aye, Uncle Harding. What can I do for you?