Episode 61 - Not up to Dick

**Vic Dunn** (0:11)
Good morning, this is episode 61

**Christine Thom** (0:15)
61, as ever, in the name of Christine, Crusty Armpits, episode 61

**SPEAKER_3** (0:24)
Morning, morning, morning. Good morning.

**Christine Thom** (0:26)
It actually is morning. It is actually, yeah, not afternoon. Not afternoon.

**SPEAKER_4** (0:31)
Not lunchtime, evening, morning.

**Christine Thom** (0:32)
No, I did have an idea, actually. You know, we've started this new introduction, which means that I don't waffle on about boring shite.
We just come up with an adjective and a noun. Yes. And I suddenly came up with an idea when I was having a poo this morning. Lovely. The best idea is do you come on your own. They do? Well, I tell you for why, because I'm on my phone with me. So I had to do some thinking.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:03)
I don't know where you're going.

**SPEAKER_4** (1:05)
I don't know what to do.

**Christine Thom** (1:06)
Because I had to get on my phone and look at it and mix it easily. Well, I'll tell you what I did do. I started reading the back of my vaginal moisturiser packet.

**SPEAKER_4** (1:18)
It says, why are you rubbing it? We can't just sit there and just move. Because I actually went for a wee and then I thought, oh, why am I here?

**Christine Thom** (1:25)
Well, it started to wake up. Do you know what I mean? So, what was the down and objective for what? Well, that's Krusty armpit.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:32)
I just said it in the beginning.

**Christine Thom** (1:35)
But the idea is that if any listeners can use all the letters and make an anagram, they can get a sticker.
Yeah. Krusty armpit. Make a word out of that. These things you can't spell out because there's no E.

**SPEAKER_3** (1:52)
But spell a word out using Krusty armpit.

**SPEAKER_4** (1:54)
So when you go to the toilet, take a pet and a piece of paper.

**Christine Thom** (1:57)
This is for your mental health, folks. This is to stop your doom scrolling when we're having a poo.
You can thank us later. Yeah, because we're going to reduce the micro fibers of shit on your phone. Yeah, it is pants, isn't it? Doom scrolling is an easy thing to do. Oh, I do it so much. But I think that you want to stop.

**Vic Dunn** (2:15)
Yeah, it's just...

**Christine Thom** (2:17)
I do find myself though, if I'm like... because obviously your algorithm pushes stuff to you. So like for me, it might be dogs doing deaf stuff. Yeah.

**SPEAKER_4** (2:24)
Or people doing mad dances. And there's quite a lot out there. And I look and then I go, right, just stop, stop.

**Christine Thom** (2:34)
And then I take myself away, and then I go look at all the clothes I can't buy instead. It stops me doing scrolling.

**SPEAKER_3** (2:40)
That's not a dopamine hit though, is it? Or is it?

**Christine Thom** (2:42)
Well, I just put them in my basket. Did you really?

**SPEAKER_5** (2:46)
I just leave them there.

**SPEAKER_3** (2:47)
Yeah. That's not what I did because then they email you with discounts.

**Christine Thom** (2:51)
Sometimes they do, yeah, which is good, because I think they're getting a bit lice. Yeah. But also the fact, I think when you... I mean, I don't need any more clothes, Vic.

**SPEAKER_4** (3:00)
I don't need any more clothes.

**Christine Thom** (3:01)
You don't have all the people on this planet. You do not need any more clothes. I just need to keep losing weight so I fit into the bowl. Have you got into a jumper this week?

**Vic Dunn** (3:08)
I've not worn it in two years.

**Christine Thom** (3:11)
See, that's good, isn't it?

**Vic Dunn** (3:12)
Yeah.

**Christine Thom** (3:12)
They just fit in with jumpers, you think you can always fit in them, but can't.

**Vic Dunn** (3:14)
Yeah.

**Christine Thom** (3:15)
And I was like...
Oh! That's a nice feeling when you get back into the... But I did last week, and when we went to the lakes, I came right off it. I had the biggest fucking Philly cheese burger with fries on the planet. And then I had sourdough toast as well, and I had wine, but on three pounds, which is what weight, and it... Lost it all again now.

**SPEAKER_4** (3:37)
But isn't that mad that just a bit of sourdough...

**SPEAKER_3** (3:40)
I know! I was like...

**Christine Thom** (3:41)
And a bit of red wine can help me life's over.

**SPEAKER_4** (3:45)
It's shit though, isn't it?

**Christine Thom** (3:46)
Because it takes you a lot longer to...

**SPEAKER_4** (3:47)
I mean, you have lost you three quid... Three quid?