E201 - Dandapani: A Monk's Warning "Distraction Is Costing You Your Life"

**Dandapani** (0:00)
Life is not short, it's finite. We just don't know when that end is. With every passing month, every passing year, you feel less and less fulfilled. Of course you do. You're either with your phone, or you're thinking about something else, physically present, mentally absent. How hard is it to be distracted? I can almost for certain you're saying, it's not difficult. That's because you practiced it so much. It's not hard for me to be concentrated, not because I lived as a monk, it's just what I practice. There's a clock counting down with my name on it. Those minutes I'm giving you, I will never get back. Can you keep your awareness of this person while you're sitting with them? If you can just do that one thing, you can have everything, but you won't.
One of the greatest gifts we can give someone is our undivided attention. My guru gave me that gift. Whenever he was with me, he was completely present.
Don't waste it. Just do not waste it. That's the most precious gift we have.

**André Duqum** (0:55)
How to focus.

**Dandapani** (0:56)
Really simple. We practice doing one thing at a time throughout the day. And what I recommend people to do is...

**André Duqum** (1:09)
Dandapani, you are a Hindu priest who spent over 10 years as a celibate monk and has now gone on to sharing the world the power of unwavering focus. I just want to start by setting the stage and asking, what does living life with a distracted mind cost us?

**Dandapani** (1:29)
Everything. Ultimately, our life force, the finite amount of time that each of us have on this planet, which cannot be replaced, we can't get it back. And the relationships we have with the people that we love and the things that we love, our experience, ultimately.
Physically present, mentally absent.

**André Duqum** (1:58)
Physically present, mentally absent.

**Dandapani** (2:01)
We spend so much time, people, working to earn money, to buy experiences, with family, with things, travel, whatever it may be, going to music concert, and then to be mentally absent when they're physically there.

**André Duqum** (2:18)
It's almost like life happens in a way where we miss the experience of it.

**Dandapani** (2:24)
Yeah. And then, you know, while you're physically there, mentally you're somewhere else. You know, you're either with your phone or you're thinking about something else. So you're not experiencing the experience that you work so hard to create.
And then with every passing month, every passing year, you feel less and less fulfilled. Of course you do, because you've had all these experiences, which you've never actually truly experienced, because you couldn't be present, and you can't be present if you can't be focused.

**André Duqum** (2:58)
I feel like the concentrated mind, that state of having a concentrated mind, is inherently pleasant. Do you say that the terms are synonymous with presence and focus and concentration? How do you delineate if you do?

**Dandapani** (3:14)
Focus and concentration mean the same thing, literally in the dictionary. So I can use those words synonymously.
Present is a byproduct of being focused. If I can be focused, I can be present. If I can keep my awareness, as I teach in the book, on my attention on you, without it wavering to something else, I am being present. But if I'm physically here, and while you're speaking, my awareness is drifting and thinking, what should I have for lunch? What should I do this afternoon? That's where my attention is going, my awareness is going. I'm physically present, mentally absent, and I'm no longer present anymore. Mentally, I'm not here.
So when people talk about being present and practicing being present, you don't, it's erroneous. You don't practice being present. You practice being focused. Being present is an outcome of being focused. So the typical Instagram quote, be present, be here, be in the now.

**André Duqum** (4:22)
Yeah.

**Dandapani** (4:22)
You're looking at the outcome, but what we need to be doing is what is the act that gives us that outcome?

**André Duqum** (4:29)
We live in a time where our attentional system is hijacked in so many different ways because there's so much more stimulus around us. That plays a huge part into the generation that we find ourselves in, yeah.

**Dandapani** (4:43)
Absolutely, because people have no clarity of what it is they want in their life, and because it's easier for me to hijack your attention if you don't know what you want. If you knew what you want, it would be very difficult for me to hijack your attention, because then I have clarity of where I'm going, where I'm focusing my energy, my time.