Dr. Michael Gurian: Why Boys Are Struggling — The Male Brain, Screens & What Parents Can Do

Michael Gurian (0:00)

Part of why men and boys are receding from culture, part of why they are isolating and are lonely, is that there is so much overreaction to everything they do. Because you think about, think about all the cancellations. What we're doing, what the culture is doing, is canceling, you know, it's 99% men.

SPEAKER_2 (0:38)

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Richard Taite (0:59)

Before we start the conversation today, I want to deliver a personal message. Every day, families across America lose someone they love to an overdose. Many of those deaths are preventable when communities have the right education, resources, and support.

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I sit across from families every day who are watching their sons slip away from anxiety, isolation, addiction, and mental health struggles. And the question I keep asking is, did this start when the drug showed up or did it start way before that? Today I'm joined by Dr. Michael Gurian, who spent his career understanding how boys grow into men. I want to connect the dots. What happens early in a boy's life that quietly sets him on this path? Thank you for being with us today. I really appreciate it. Thank you for fitting us in.

Michael Gurian (2:35)

Thanks for having me.

Richard Taite (2:36)

Of course.

What's the exact moment boys start to break? Is it parenting, school, or culture?

Michael Gurian (2:43)

They're all important. I would put, truthfully, I put culture. So my work is nature, nurture, and culture. So the way I would answer that question is we look at nature, we look at nurture, we look at culture. So nature is what they come in with. Male brain, boys, male genes, testosterone, all those things that come in that are relatively immutable.

And then nurture is the, the wraparound family, usually nuclear family, et cetera, and an extended family that's kind of taking care of that nature. So I talk about nurture the nature. That's one of my books, Nurture the Nature. What works best is figure out who that is, nurture that, that's what's going to work best. Culture, third, right? And I would say least, has the least influence until, right, the kids get to be teens, late teens, adulthood, cultures having more influence there. So some things happen.

Richard Taite (3:39)

Do you know where I see it, doctor? I'm the blame the parent guy. I've always been the blame the parent guy, right? For the most part, but I shifted with the culture and the social media, right? And now I think that that's the most important.

What do you think?

Michael Gurian (3:58)

Well, I wouldn't say most important, but incredibly important. I mean, I'm definitely on record as one of those people who've since the smartphone has been coming out and saying, nope, I mean, like Saving Our Sons, Minds of Girls. Ten years ago, I wrote those books saying, nope, got to keep the kids off of this. This is damaging to the brain. So for me, it's a brain based issue. It's damaging to the brain. So that's no doubt about that. Early on in life, though, it's more the nurturing systems and the parents and the school systems that are, many of which are not on screens yet, but they're not understanding boys.

And in not understanding boys, it's hard for them to nurture the nature of boys, to take care of boys. And certainly the culture comes in where the culture pressures systems to act in a way that would be difficult for the boy. Okay, so divorce, fathering, but let's say we have a divorce and let's say the father's gone. Okay, that's a huge trauma for the development of boys, girls too, but for the development of boys.

So in those, and then often moms will just say, yeah, I don't understand these guys. I'm shutting down, trying to shut down what's naturally boy and that's having an effect on these boys, but I as a mom don't even realize it until someone tells me.