DONKEY: Thieves Steal 3K Pounds Of Snow Crab From Truck While Driver Is Asleep

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

Use that donkey thing, that ee-aw, ee-aw.

Charlamagne tha God (0:03)

The bunch of donkeys around here.

DJ Envy (0:08)

I got the Donkey of the Day for these hot dishes.

Charlamagne tha God (0:10)

They made me the Donkey of the Day by the things that I say.

SPEAKER_1 (0:13)

Yeah, Charlamagne.

Charlamagne tha God (0:14)

Some Donkey of the Day just saw themselves.

SPEAKER_4 (0:17)

It was you, what accountability are you taking?

SPEAKER_1 (0:19)

And we will have the ultimate donkey today on The Breakfast Club.

Charlamagne tha God (0:22)

That being said, I want to start off with this donkey right here.

Donkey of the day for Thursday, October 29th goes to a truck driver in Philadelphia named Marty Maruki. I think I'm pronouncing his name right. Now, we are coming to Philadelphia tomorrow. We will be broadcasting from Lincoln Financial Field for One Philly HBCU Week. Dropping food bombs for One Philly HBCU Week. All right, salute to Morgan & Morgan for being our sponsor for that. Philly, I'm telling you right now, point me to whoever got the crab legs with them up, okay? Because according to 6ABC in Philadelphia, this brother Marty was sleeping in his tractor trailer at approximately 4 in the morning in southwest Philadelphia on the 3600 block of Island Avenue when six men broke into the back of his tractor trailer and stole 3,000 pounds of crab legs. Jesus, I can't make this kind of stuff up. Let's go to 6ABC for the report, please.

SPEAKER_4 (1:17)

I was dreaming it was windy and the truck was shaking.

SPEAKER_1 (1:20)

I knew, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Marty Mariochi was sleeping in the cab of his truck when he realized guys were in the back stealing frozen snow crabs he was supposed to deliver. He showed us where he says they broke the latch off the back at around 4 o'clock this morning.

SPEAKER_4 (1:34)

And then I told him, hey, that's stop. That's enough. I don't want to lose my job.

SPEAKER_1 (1:39)

And then I find out real quick.

SPEAKER_4 (1:40)

I was in the wrong place.

SPEAKER_1 (1:41)

Mariochi isn't from Philadelphia and arrive early before the business opened. So he decided to park near other trucks to take a nap. He thought the 3400 block of Island Avenue in southwest Philadelphia was a good spot to rest. He says his interaction with the suspects took a scary turn. One guy said, we'll pay you.

SPEAKER_4 (1:59)

And then all of a sudden I said, uh-uh. Then one guy charged on me. So I had to run from that corner all the way to the safe place.

SPEAKER_1 (2:08)

This was the thing was lighting up the resident in. Southwest Detectives say six males got away with 3,000 pounds of stolen seafood.

Charlamagne tha God (2:17)

Joelle Embiid cousin Marty said, uh-oh. Okay. Jailin hurts out for the season, and now folks in Philly don't got nothing else to do. Okay, LeBron, you better take the 76ers to the Promised Land, because if not, the Tyson's Food tracked the trailer with all the chicken wings about to get hit.

Now, I need to say, I am happy this brother Marty is alive and unharmed, because what happened to him is absolutely a crime. Sometimes, you can be the victim of a crime and still have me questioning your decision making and giving you Donkey of the Day. Marty, okay, my brother, black man, you know damn well you can't go to sleep in Philly, southwest Philadelphia, okay, with 3,000 pounds of crab legs. All right, do you understand what 3,000 pounds of crab legs means to black people? Okay, that's-

That's not a shipment, okay? That's a blessing! All right, you out there praying to God for things to turn around, you out there praying to God to be able to provide for your family, and instead of God making it rain manna, he made it rain crab legs, okay? 3,000 pounds of crab legs is enough crab legs to turn southwest Philadelphia into a red elastah! And you parked that truck and went to sleep?

Like you were just out here transporting office supplies or something. Okay, don't nobody want no damn stapler, all right? Office Depot truck can post up there untouched, but southwest Philly, the 3,600 block on Island Avenue? Okay, according to the census report in US Census Bureau, 55% of the residents there are black? That community came together, one man, one sound, to steal 3,000 pounds of crab legs out of your truck while you were sleeping in it, okay? And all it took was six people, all right? A Ford F-150 and a Dodge Caravan. A devil damn Dodge Caravan. You know it's about the kids when you pull up to the seafood heist and the family minivan. Okay, you take them kids, you toss each out the back, and you think about all the seafood boils you're about to have from now to Christmas. And my favorite part of the story is when Marty talks about how he woke up and he saw these men stealing his crab legs, so he got out of his truck and told him to stop because he didn't want to lose his job. Marty, respectfully, they didn't give a damn about your job the way Rick James didn't give a damn about Eddie Murphy's couch. Okay, you think they're gonna stop because you asked politely?