David E. AFG Male

Bob (0:00)

The Kentucky Conference has passed here, and his talk really touched my heart. And I knew at that moment, that was the guy I was gonna ask to speak here tonight. He has a truly wonderful story. We got to get to know each other a little bit last night. It was pretty chaotic last night, but I guess with that, I'd just like to introduce David.

David Edelfelt (0:29)

Good morning, everyone. My name is David Edelfelt. I'm a very grateful Al-Anon.

I love the way that all the alcoholics said it at the beginning. So I love to fit in with alcoholics. So I'll follow that format and say thanks to the grace of God, the program of the Al-Anon family groups. And amazing sponsorship. I have not found it necessary to commit homicide or suicide since June 7th of 2004 And for that, I'm very grateful.

It's good to be with y'all. Thank you, Bob, for inviting me. Thank you for being a wonderful host. I love these. I just love these weekends where you get to travel and be with family. You haven't met yet. I've known Heidi for a while. We've never met until last night. My new friend Peggy. Great talks last night. Such a great talk. Scott, thank you for your inspirational talk. Just a little while ago, that was amazing. And I think this is the first time I've spoken at a conference where my host from the last conference is here. Pauline, it's great to see you.

I love when Peggy said, I feel guilty for sharing my story. So y'all know me. This is the first time I think I've spoken in the same general area in less than a year since I was here last. So I think there are a couple of you that were there. But as I said to Pauline, when I saw her out in the hall a little while ago, I dressed myself before this one. When I was here last, it was a few weeks after shoulder surgery. So Pauline was kind enough to come to my room and help me get my tie on and my belt. I couldn't move my arm. Anyway, I'm happy to be a little more whole this time. Thank you to anybody who's responsible for my being here and responsible for this conference. My heart has already been touched, and I've just been moved and I've laughed and cried, and that's one of the things I love about these weekends. So thank you to all of you.

Yes, some of you may know that one of our co-founders, an Alanon Lois Wilson, was asked one time what she did in the moment of silence before the meeting, and she said, I asked God to the meeting, and I loved that when I heard that. I'm going to ask us to do that in a moment with just another moment of silence. If you want to use that time to ask God to the room, I think that's a beautiful use of the moment. If you're one of us who believes God's already here, and you just want to say, hey, come sit next to me, I like that. If you want to pray for the newcomers or anybody who maybe is not so new today, but somebody who's in pain, I like that idea too. And if you have no other good idea, I will share with you a prayer that was given to me years ago that you probably don't need as much as I do, but I found it very helpful for weekends like this. And it's, God, please help me not to judge the speaker.

So, let's just take a brief moment, please.

Thank you. Well, I like to know who I'm talking to. So with those of you who are just in Al-Anon, Al-Anon is your only program. Would you raise your hand? Okay, there are some of you. Bless your hearts. Those who are double winners in both programs, yes, look at you all. And now the brave alcoholics who just came to look at you. Oh my goodness. I love you. The brave alcoholics came to hear the Al-Anon.

I hope you're glad you came about three and a half hours from now when I finish.

What I believe my job is when I'm invited to stand at a podium and talk to you, is to tell you a little bit about what I was like and what happened and what I'm like today. And I used to get that wrong all the time. I used to think it was my job to tell you what it was like and what happened and what it is like today. And that may not sound like a big difference to some of you, but I promise you it is the definition of my recovery. Because when I got here 22 years ago, my only problem, I thought, was what it was like. And my only hope for a solution for being happy, joyous, and free was for it to change. And today I know my only problem ever has been and ever will be what I am like. And my only hope for a solution to be happy, joyous, and free is what I can be like. So if for some reason you need to leave early, you have now gotten the message. So, but I do have a few other things to say. So what I was like, the very first thing I knew about myself as a very young child was that I was adopted. My parents told my sister and I that we were both adopted at seven weeks old. We were two years apart, still are. And that information that I was adopted was not given as any sort of negative or big deal. It was just, hey, we want you to know that we adopted you. And not thinking anything of it, I would share that news with my little friends at school. And you know, kids can sometimes be not so nice when they hear about differences. And so my friends would say, ha ha, you don't have your real parents. We have our real parents. So I would go home and cry, and I would tell my mother, and she would say, you know, next time they say that to you, you just tell them that your parents chose you, but their parents got stuck with them.