Dating, Cheetos, Liquor, Biden, Bernie & Fitness - Michael Malice - #140

**Chris Williamson** (0:00)
Hello, friends, welcome back. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by The Protein Works. If you've been listening for a while, you'll know that I am a massive fan of them. Their superfood bites are amazing, and I keep on pounding through packets after packets. And I'm pretty certain that their greens powder is the only reason that I've not got ill this winter. So head to theproteinworks.com or the link in the show notes below, and pick some stuff up. I couldn't recommend them more highly. Onto today's guest, Michael Malice. Fell in love with him on Joe Rogan, and I've been listening to him for years, and I finally managed to lock him down and sit him in front of a microphone so that I could have a chat with him. Michael is really, really quick thinking, very, very witty. So my goal for this podcast was just to find a bunch of very random facts from the internet and hear what he had to say about them. So that is precisely what we did. So today you will learn who created Flamin' Hot Cheetos. You'll learn why fast fashion is destroying the wiping rags business. You will get to hear how many people were born in the UK with the name Nigel in 2016 And you'll also get to hear his thoughts and my thoughts on my dating life. So yeah, get ready for this one. Please welcome the wise and wonderful Michael Malice. Oh yeah, PS, don't forget to hit subscribe every week, Monday and Thursday. I'm releasing episodes with the most fascinating humans on the planet and you don't want to miss them.
Michael Malice in the building, woo! There he is.

**Michael Malice** (1:49)
Hi.

**Chris Williamson** (1:49)
How are you?

**Michael Malice** (1:50)
I'm great.

**Chris Williamson** (1:51)
Fantastic. What's been happening? And actually, no, first off, Dave Rubin got you in a full ensemble, and I get you in a T-shirt. What's happening?

**Michael Malice** (2:02)
Yeah, well, you also, this is Skype. You wanna, if you want, when you get a studio and not a bedroom, then I'll dress appropriately. I'm in my pajamas, see?

**Chris Williamson** (2:10)
Those are nice. That's a nice check on the bottom half.

**Michael Malice** (2:14)
Thank you. You look good. And I've got some nice farm socks for no reason. So you're from Newcastle.

**Chris Williamson** (2:20)
Correct.

**Michael Malice** (2:21)
I'm gonna impress you and make you uncomfortable.

**Chris Williamson** (2:24)
Hit me.

**Michael Malice** (2:25)
The one thing I know about Newcastle, which no other American knows, is Mary Bell.

**Chris Williamson** (2:31)
I don't know that. What's that?

**Michael Malice** (2:32)
Mary Bell was 10 or 11, and she was the youngest person convicted of murder in Britain. She killed two toddlers, and then she went to their house, and she's like, I want to see Billy, and they're like, he's dead, love, and she's like, I want to see him in his coffin, and they sentenced her to jail at age 11 She's from Newcastle. She's a Geordie. You didn't know this?

**Chris Williamson** (2:52)
That is the most harrowing story that I've ever heard.

**Michael Malice** (2:55)
Yeah, and they left notes like, oh, there's murderers around, like a little kid handwriting. Yeah, you didn't know about this?

**Chris Williamson** (3:00)
No, not at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

**Michael Malice** (3:02)
The book's called Cries Unheard.

**Chris Williamson** (3:04)
Fuck me. What a way to stop Michael. Come on.

**Michael Malice** (3:07)
Yeah.

**Chris Williamson** (3:08)
I've got stories about flaming Cheetos and stuff, and you're talking about like child murder, child on child crime.

**Michael Malice** (3:15)
Yeah.

**Chris Williamson** (3:15)
Wow. Come on then.

**Michael Malice** (3:17)
That's how I first, the other thing is that's how I learned about that Newcastle is a thing other than the beer which I adore. But also the thing they discussed in the book, which you're going to have to do for me, is they said that the Geordie accent is like the most unique accent in all of Britain.

**Chris Williamson** (3:33)
Probably not too far off, correct? Yeah, so when you get really, really thick, it's essentially another language. You got to remember, we're right next to Scotland. We are as close, yeah, which genuinely is another language. So yeah, there's some people, if I was to roll you out into the streets of Newcastle and just get you to try and translate, I think you might have a bad time.

**Michael Malice** (3:55)
Yeah, or a fun time, yeah.

**Chris Williamson** (3:57)
Or a fun time. So come on, tell me what's been happening in your world at the moment.

**Michael Malice** (4:02)