DAILY SHOW: You Don't Have Measle Ass Do Ya? | The Rizzuto Comedy Podcast 

Rizz (0:00)

The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertisements.

Rizz (0:30)

If you know Dobbs Tire and Auto Centers, you love them. They guarantee the lowest tire prices in town and have a drive away tire package that includes free balancing, rotation and flat repair on their tires. It's incredible and it's helped Dobbs reach 50 years in business. 50 years. And to celebrate those 50 years, Dobbs has an exclusive savings for all our listeners this September. The biggest savings of the year. Stop by any Dobbs location now through September 30th to save up to 150 bucks on a new set of tires. At your next stop, take a look at your tires. Looking a little warm? Tread looking a little on the thin side? It happens. But it doesn't have to stay that way. Save up to 150 bucks on new tires right now at Dobbs. Do not let this offer pass you by. Stop in and get safer, newer, better tires for less, while supplies last. Visit gotodobbs.com for a location near you or see an associate for details. gotodobbs.com. Dobbs, celebrating 50 years.

The Rizzuto Show Podcast, powered by Dobbs.

Moon Valjean (1:47)

Dobbs Tire and Auto Centers are hiring now with 42 stores.

Rizz (1:50)

Apply at gotodobbs.com today. Thank you.

Rizz (2:23)

Okay, I mean.

Rafe Williams (2:25)

Yeah, where's the, good for you.

Rizz (2:27)

I'm sorry, I feel okay today.

Rizz (2:29)

Oh.

Rafe Williams (2:30)

Do we have a Christian Bale Good For You button?

Rizz (2:32)

We need it.

Rizz (2:33)

I don't need it.

Rizz (2:33)

Oh, we need it.

King Scott (2:34)

Oh, the lights.

Rizz (2:37)

Good for you.

Rizz (2:38)

Yeah.

Lern (2:38)

Good for you.

Rizz (2:41)

I'm bringing here the Scott You Rescued Opossum yesterday.

Moon Valjean (2:44)

Standing up, where is the hero button right now?

Rizz (2:47)

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Moon Valjean (2:48)

Yes, he called me yesterday.

King Scott (2:51)

I know it's weird to see a shell buying a T-bone steak laying in the backyard.

King Scott (2:54)

Did you touch it with your hands?

King Scott (2:56)

I put on my glove.

Rizz (2:58)

You touched what could possibly be a diseased thing and you have a newborn at home.

Moon Valjean (3:03)

Possums are very clean.

King Scott (3:04)

Well, yeah, they can't really get diseases and nothing can transmit to humans.

Rizz (3:07)

They eat rabies. Where'd you see that on TikTok?

Moon Valjean (3:10)

The Missouri Department of Conservation.

King Scott (3:12)

Their website even tells you on there, yeah, they can't transmit to human and pets.

Rizz (3:16)

Yeah, until today.

Moon Valjean (3:17)

They are actually great animals because they eat ticks.

King Scott (3:21)

Yeah, they get rid of all the bugs.

Moon Valjean (3:22)

They get rid of, and they honestly, they don't need much.

Rizz (3:24)

You have a newborn at home. Let's take no chances bringing in weird diseases.

King Scott (3:28)

I didn't bring it in the house. I had a glove.

Rizz (3:30)

Maybe you touched it.

King Scott (3:31)

With a glove, not in my hand. I was being safe just in case it did have something weird on it, but I picked it up, put it in a nice little box with a towel in there, and I took it to this place in Overland that rescues all the little critters like that, and so they accepted it, and...

Rizz (3:47)

I am impressed. What's that? They threw it out.

Moon Valjean (3:49)

No, they didn't.

King Scott (3:50)

Well, it might be a meal today. They threw it out.

Moon Valjean (3:52)

They probably ate it, but you know what? I am so proud of you, and you called the right person yesterday.

Rizz (3:56)

That's a Shelby and a T-Bone?

King Scott (3:58)

Yeah, that's a Shelby and a T-Bone steak. That's good stuff right there.

Rizz (4:01)

Anybody ever eaten possum?

Moon Valjean (4:02)

Hell no.

Rafe Williams (4:04)

Not knowingly.

Rizz (4:05)

You guys are from southern Illinois.

Moon Valjean (4:06)

I don't know.

Rafe Williams (4:07)

Yeah, there's a chance.

Moon Valjean (4:07)

What? I don't know what you guys eat down there.

Rafe Williams (4:08)

We eat crawfish, dude. There's a chance.

Moon Valjean (4:11)

We eat crawdads.

Rafe Williams (4:12)

There's a chance that a potluck, that some possum has been imbibed.

Rizz (4:15)

Who was talking about that chili cook-off where they do exotic roadkill?

Rafe Williams (4:22)

Oh, yeah, yeah. Where was that? That's like an actual thing.

Rizz (4:25)

And it's around here.

Rafe Williams (4:26)

Is it really?

Moon Valjean (4:28)