DAILY SHOW: Shark-Infested Surfing, Greek Fire's Comeback & The Coffin Buffet | The Rizzuto Comedy Podcast

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertisements.

Rafe Williams (0:30)

Hey, it's Rafe, I'm here with Stewie from Stewart's American Morgan. Thank you, ever since I closed my loan with you, I get scam letters left and right.

SPEAKER_3 (0:35)

You know, Rafe, that information you close your loan is public record, so people get all kinds of junk in the mail. This is why you contact me on my personal cell phone. After you close the loan, I'm available nights, weekends. Your home is the biggest investment you're going to make in your life. Don't you want someone you can contact when you need to contact them?

Rafe Williams (0:51)

Call the guy you can count on. It's Stew, 314-324-4440, or Google the bagel loan, NLS number 226-715.

Rizz (1:14)

The Rizzuto Show Podcast, powered by Dobbs.

Lern (1:16)

Dobbs Tire and Auto Centers are hiring now with 42 stores.

Rizz (1:50)

Crazy Big Ben, San Diego, San Diego, yes, San Diego.

Moon Valjean (1:54)

Wales Vagina, San Diego, Dallas and Phoenix.

Lern (1:57)

Yeah, I've never been.

SPEAKER_7 (1:58)

I'm going next year, actually.

Lern (1:59)

I just booked a San Diego trip for next...

Rizz (2:02)

For what?

Rafe Williams (2:03)

Agree or disagree?

Lern (2:04)

For Christmas.

Rizz (2:05)

Oh, really?

King Scott (2:06)

Good time to go. Christmas in San Diego.

Lern (2:08)

Wow.

Rafe Williams (2:08)

I did that one year.

Lern (2:09)

Did you?

Rafe Williams (2:10)

I went surfing in San Diego over the Christmas, New Year's holiday. Yeah, in a wetsuit and found out that's great white season. You didn't tell me until my fat ass was out there on a surfboard, flailing around.

Moon Valjean (2:22)

Dressed like a sea lion.

Lern (2:23)

Wait a minute. You mean like the band?

Rafe Williams (2:25)

My buddy was like...

Rizz (2:25)

Did you die?

Rafe Williams (2:26)

I didn't die, but I'm like, why didn't you tell me before I went in? He goes, okay, because you wouldn't go.

King Scott (2:31)

Yeah, you're right.

SPEAKER_3 (2:32)

I would not have gone.

Moon Valjean (2:33)

You're good. Don't be...

Rizz (2:33)

What are the odds?

King Scott (2:35)

They're out there. Apparently, they were in my favor. Did you see them? You don't ever see them.

Rafe Williams (2:39)

I was also slowly drowning. I was busy drowning.

Rizz (2:42)

Did you what? Did you get up on the board?

Rafe Williams (2:44)

Hell no. He didn't tell me until halfway through a two-hour session that you're supposed to let the wave pop you up.

Moon Valjean (2:51)

That's also not the easiest place to learn.

Rizz (2:53)

It's not.

Moon Valjean (2:53)

Not necessarily.

King Scott (2:54)

Is it choppy? Did you try longboard or were you on the shortboard?

Rafe Williams (2:56)

Dude, you could have put me on a Ouija board.

Rizz (2:59)

It wouldn't have mattered.

SPEAKER_3 (3:00)

That's what I've served on.

Rizz (3:01)

Ouija board.

King Scott (3:02)

It wouldn't have happened.

Rafe Williams (3:03)

I'm like, please, spirits, let me pop up one time.

Lern (3:05)

No.

Rafe Williams (3:06)

The little thing would go to, no thank you.

Lern (3:07)

No.

Moon Valjean (3:07)

Dude, you're going to have an issue, though, with San Diego.

Lern (3:09)

What's that?

King Scott (3:10)

You're not going to want to leave. No, I know.

Rizz (3:12)

Oh, here, the weather is great.

Moon Valjean (3:13)

Well, it is the best weather in the entire country year round.

Rafe Williams (3:17)

Agree or disagree, San Diego is a clean LA.

Moon Valjean (3:21)

Uh, disagree.

Rafe Williams (3:23)

Really?

Moon Valjean (3:24)

Totally different style of person.

King Scott (3:26)

Well, you don't have the stars out there.

Rafe Williams (3:28)

Well, in San Diego, people are regular people. Your waiter's not waiting for his big break. He's just a waiter.

Rizz (3:34)

It's a big naval, right, naval city. So that big Navy base is there.

Moon Valjean (3:39)

A lot of stuff with that, yeah, with a lot of sailors. With the Navy.

Rizz (3:41)

A lot of semen.

Moon Valjean (3:45)

You know what's crazy?

Rafe Williams (3:45)

San Diego is more semen than LA, but somehow cleaner. Wow.

Who would have thought it?

Moon Valjean (3:51)

Yeah, I love it. No matter where you leave, if you leave bad weather, you go into San Diego, you land on a different planet.

Lern (3:58)

I'm excited.

King Scott (3:59)

The sky is clear. That's nice. We'll learn. Perfect. Pro tip, do the longboard, because you'll feel like you're a pro surfer instantly.

Rizz (4:06)

Are you going to surf?

Lern (4:07)