DAILY SHOW: It's A Felony Squirting | The Rizzuto Comedy Podcast

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertisements.

SPEAKER_2 (0:34)

National Anthem as a punishment.

SPEAKER_3 (0:35)

Boo, I've enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_2 (0:37)

For the NFL Pick'em Challenge last week, please enjoy America's birthday song.

SPEAKER_3 (0:45)

What?

SPEAKER_2 (0:49)

Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light What so proudly we hailed At the twilight's last gleaming Whose broad stripes and bright stars Through the perilous fight Thank you Arnold, please, I'm trying to do this right now.

SPEAKER_1 (1:20)

Yeah, I forgot the words.

SPEAKER_3 (1:22)

Oh, the ramparts.

SPEAKER_2 (1:23)

Oh, the ramparts we watched Were so gallantly streaming And the rocket's red glare, The bombs bursting in air, Gave proof through the dye That our flag was still there. Oh, say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave?

SPEAKER_3 (2:12)

The Rizzuto Show Podcast, powered by Dobbs.

SPEAKER_4 (2:15)

Dobbs Tire and Auto Centers are hiring now with 42 stores.

SPEAKER_5 (2:18)

Apply at gotodobbs.com today.

SPEAKER_8 (2:21)

All right, let's hit it.

SPEAKER_3 (2:24)

Little listener discretion is advised.

SPEAKER_8 (2:38)

Hey, good morning, everybody.

SPEAKER_3 (2:42)

It is Tuesday. Punishment fulfilled.

SPEAKER_2 (2:52)

Wonderful.

SPEAKER_3 (2:53)

Now you got to spin the wheel again.

SPEAKER_1 (2:54)

Just in time. Just in time to get another wheel again.

SPEAKER_8 (2:57)

You kidding me?

SPEAKER_6 (2:58)

That's the matter.

SPEAKER_2 (3:00)

Just in time to start a new one.

SPEAKER_3 (3:02)

You guys followed the Monday Night Football game last night?

SPEAKER_8 (3:05)

Yep. I stayed up way too late because they kept, they kept a little too close.

SPEAKER_4 (3:09)

It was a back and forth.

SPEAKER_8 (3:10)

I didn't like that.

SPEAKER_3 (3:11)

Bills, Rams, Bills, Rams, back and forth, back and forth over time. Wow.

SPEAKER_8 (3:16)

Bills win.

SPEAKER_9 (3:16)

Experience.

SPEAKER_3 (3:18)

Bills win.

SPEAKER_8 (3:19)

That was a beautiful ending, I will say.

SPEAKER_3 (3:21)

So it goes to a tiebreaker. And do you remember your score? So with the Bills winning, Scott was safe because he picked the Bills last night.

SPEAKER_7 (3:28)

Yes.

SPEAKER_3 (3:29)

So it came down to the tiebreaker between myself and Rafe. I had picked the final score of 31-27.

SPEAKER_2 (3:35)

27-25.

SPEAKER_3 (3:38)

I lost.

SPEAKER_7 (3:38)

I knew as soon as I woke up, it was over for me.

SPEAKER_3 (3:40)

I believe the final score was 34-31.

SPEAKER_2 (3:43)

I actually knew the minute they've missed the field goal in the first quarter, I was like, well, I'm getting the punishment tomorrow.

Because it was a battle of offenses. I was like, it's going to be a high scoring game. Rams are going to lose because they missed a field goal in the first quarter. And I'm going to have to spin the wheel. And here we are. And that is a true prophecy.

SPEAKER_3 (4:03)

Yeah. We'll do that later. Is there anything on that wheel you don't want?

SPEAKER_2 (4:08)

Well, I don't really want any of it.

SPEAKER_5 (4:10)

But I kind of...

SPEAKER_3 (4:11)

For me, it's the blind taste test is the worst.

SPEAKER_2 (4:14)

That one doesn't bother me. I kind of hope I don't. Well, it depends on what I'm blind taste testing. Do we have rules?

SPEAKER_3 (4:20)

There are no rules.

SPEAKER_2 (4:21)

It's a blind taste test. I could be cat food.

SPEAKER_6 (4:24)

They can be whatever.

SPEAKER_3 (4:24)

It could be whatever, man.

SPEAKER_9 (4:26)

You just hope that nobody's going to be that awful.

SPEAKER_2 (4:27)

Well, then I don't want that.

SPEAKER_9 (4:29)

Yeah.

SPEAKER_2 (4:30)

I don't want that. And I probably don't want karaoke just because I just had a singing punishment.

SPEAKER_3 (4:35)

Well, that's the one I told Lern in the office. That's the one I want you to get.

SPEAKER_9 (4:39)

Because it's just one and it'll be Friday and it's going to be like a party. And you would make it on Friday?

SPEAKER_3 (4:46)

Well, it'll be this Friday because he's all Friday.

SPEAKER_9 (4:47)

Oh, okay. Well, whenever you get back. Or Thursday. I just thought it would be Friday.

SPEAKER_3 (4:51)

It'll be a real treat for everybody. Well, we'll figure it out later.

SPEAKER_2 (4:54)

Well, let's see what I get first. I don't need to worry about it.

SPEAKER_3 (4:57)

Let's not cross that bridge until we get there. Yeah.

It'll be fine. I was trying to pay attention to the game last night. I was at the old hockey rink last night for my son's first game of the season, official game. So it's his last first game of the season.

And they unveiled the senior posters.

SPEAKER_1 (5:14)

Oh, my God.