DAILY SHOW: I'll Grab A Handful Of Nuts | The Rizzuto Comedy Podcast 

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

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SPEAKER_2 (0:30)

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Lern (1:18)

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SPEAKER_2 (1:20)

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SPEAKER_1 (1:22)

Apply at gotodobbs.com today.

Moon (1:24)

All right, let's hit it.

Rizzuto (1:27)

Little, little listener discretion is advised.

Moon (1:34)

Rizzuto.

Rizzuto (1:45)

Hello, it's Thursday. And we are live coming at you.

On the September 24th, 2026 Here we are.

Lern (1:54)

Welcome.

Rizzuto (1:55)

Welcome. Welcome to the show, guys. Thank you.

Got a couple, two, three things planned out for you. It'll be good, some good topics. Maybe a game later. I don't know. Give away surprises.

King Scott (2:05)

I don't know what's going to happen today. Thursday.

Rizzuto (2:08)

Big Thursday. Rafe's out because he hates Thursdays.

King Scott (2:10)

He does.

Rizzuto (2:11)

He stayed in bed. It's fine.

Lern (2:12)

He slept in.

Rizzuto (2:14)

That's fine.

Lern (2:15)

Oh, he don't want to talk about candle scaping, which I don't know why not, because he is a candle slut. He's he's the candle boy.

Rizzuto (2:22)

He heard of this candle scaping thing.

Moon (2:23)

Candle scaping.

King Scott (2:24)

No.

Moon (2:25)

Oh, you landscape your candle.

Lern (2:27)

It's when you pour the wax on your chest hair and you rip it off.

Rizzuto (2:30)

Yes. Oh, that's just the hottest trend, huh, Lern?

King Scott (2:33)

Oh, yeah. It's just wax.

Lern (2:34)

I was candle scaping the other day. In fact, after our broadcast at Scott Air Force Base later, I will be candle scaping my way through King's Highway to go visit my pal, Maven, get some candles and go home.

Rizzuto (2:46)

What sounds so lame, like an old woman thing to do.

Lern (2:49)

It is an old woman thing to do, but we are there, guys.

Rizzuto (2:52)

Oh, man. I mean, it's fall, right?

Lern (2:54)

Yeah.

Rizzuto (2:55)

It's fall, so if you love filling your house with the fall vibes, you know, the second the temperature drops, you know, the home design world does a new buzzword for you, candle scaping.

Lern (3:07)

Get your sense, girl.

Rizzuto (3:09)

So instead of just lighting a single pumpkin-scented jar on a coffee table, candle scaping is the art of layering complimentary frequencies, mixing candle shapes, strategically placing flickering light throughout your house to create maximum coziness.

Lern (3:28)

It is cozy. You don't like a candle?

Rizzuto (3:30)

No.

Lern (3:31)

None of you?

King Scott (3:32)

No, I grew up with them.

Rizzuto (3:33)

I grew up with them.

King Scott (3:35)

My family had a candle. They used to have a candle business for ages.

Moon (3:38)

That's cool.

King Scott (3:39)

So I got to grow up making them. Yeah, until I put it out of business. Well, they retired from it.

Moon (3:44)

They were the originators of the corncob candle.

SPEAKER_1 (3:46)

Yeah.

Moon (3:47)

No.

King Scott (3:48)

Are you serious? I'm not kidding. Are you serious?

SPEAKER_1 (3:50)

Yeah.

Moon (3:51)

It is a thing.

King Scott (3:51)

Are you serious?

Moon (3:52)

Yeah.

Rizzuto (3:53)

Never heard of it.

King Scott (3:53)

It was a thing. That's actually true.

Rizzuto (3:55)

What corncob candle?

Moon (3:57)

I'm telling you, dude, like around here, there was a lot of corncob candles, especially around the fall time, and it came from his family's candle shop.

Rizzuto (4:03)

Your family, huh?

King Scott (4:04)

Yeah.

Rizzuto (4:04)

How are you not a billionaire?

Lern (4:06)

In downtown Shelby.

Rizzuto (4:08)

How are you not living in a mansion?

King Scott (4:09)

I know. And they also had the Gandalf candle way before Lord of the Rings ever came out. It was like a big guy? Oh, like Lord of the Rings. It looked like Lord of the Rings.

Rizzuto (4:16)

Like a big wizard, yeah.

King Scott (4:17)

And it was a Gandalf. And it was way before any of the Lord of the Rings remakes.

Rizzuto (4:21)

Until the Tolkien, the Tolkien estate came after you.

SPEAKER_2 (4:26)

Yeah, that was good.