DAILY SHOW: I Just Want Some Dracula Stationary, Man | The Rizzuto Comedy Podcast

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The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely on advertisements.

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The Rizzuto Show Podcast, powered by Dobbs. Dobbs Tire and Auto Centers are hiring now with 42 stores. Apply at gotodobbs.com today. All right, let's hit it.

Rizz (0:55)

Little listener discretion is advised. Rizzuto.

Oh man, it's Friday and it's sweater weather. We're there guys.

Lern (1:18)

I'm so happy.

Rizz (1:22)

Little nip in the air.

Moon (1:23)

Well, this weekend is going to be perfect.

Rizz (1:25)

Could be down in the thirties at some point this weekend. The thirties guys, let's go.

Lern (1:30)

I miss my jackets. I said this earlier in the week. I just miss them and I want to wear them.

Rizz (1:35)

And ladies and gentlemen, to my right, wearing a super sweet leather jacket.

Clownvis (1:40)

It's leather jacket weather, baby.

Rizz (1:41)

Making his return to the program. Clownvis.

Moon (1:45)

What's up y'all? You look so cool. It's been a while.

Clownvis (1:47)

Good morning. This is my Halloween look. That's what I'm...

Moon (1:49)

I thought you were into it. I'm into it.

Clownvis (1:51)

Oh, I don't like it. No, I'm just committed to the bit.

Moon (1:54)

Because you hate dressing up.

Clownvis (1:55)

It's childish.

Rizz (1:58)

You hate dressing up.

Clownvis (1:59)

No, I hate wearing silly costumes, but I do enjoy the spooky vibes.

Rizz (2:03)

Well, listen, you've been on the road for the past couple months.

Clownvis (2:07)

It's been a very busy year.

Rizz (2:09)

Very busy year for you.

Lern (2:10)

You've toured around the entire United States, it seems.

Clownvis (2:13)

This year, I will have gone literally everywhere in America and Canada and the Bahamas.

Rizz (2:20)

How do you feel?

Lern (2:21)

Do you feel exhausted or do you feel energized?

Clownvis (2:24)

I feel younger than ever, better than ever.

Rizz (2:26)

Well, and the year is not over yet.

Clownvis (2:28)

No, yeah.

Rizz (2:29)

You've got like a little window where you're home.

Clownvis (2:31)

Yeah, I probably got it.

Rizz (2:32)

We can grab you to come in.

Clownvis (2:33)

Yeah, I got about another 20 I leave next week. I got about another 25 shows to go before the end of the year.

Rizz (2:37)

Damn, right? Another 25 shows and you feel good, huh?

Clownvis (2:42)

I feel really good. Do you know why?

Rizz (2:43)

Why?

Clownvis (2:44)

I feel ridiculous saying this at this ripe old age of mine, but I started drinking water.

Rizz (2:51)

What?

Clownvis (2:52)

I swear to God, if anybody hasn't tried it.

Rizz (2:55)

You mean regular H2O, get out of here.

Clownvis (2:58)

I've seen all of you, I've seen everybody carry around these big water bottles, these sippy cups.

Rizz (3:03)

Is that like a Stanley Cup?

Clownvis (3:05)

I don't know what it is. I got it at a garage sale, but I started playing the game, filling it up with ice and water every chance I get. And oh my God, I wake up.

Rizz (3:13)

Playing the game.

Clownvis (3:15)

I wake up feeling good. Yeah, you just gamify it and it's real fun.

Lern (3:18)

You know, your cheeks are actually brighter. I can tell cause you're hydrated.

Moon (3:21)

I'm glowing. This is good.

Clownvis (3:22)

No more dry skin, no more waking up with a headache. I mean, I feel like a child, a youth.

Lern (3:28)

Your pompadour is extra shiny as well.

Rizz (3:31)

Look at his nail beds, right?

Lern (3:33)

I know, those cuticles look tight.

Rizz (3:35)

Tight.

Clownvis (3:35)

Yeah, it feels good to have tight cuticles after all these years.

Rizz (3:39)

I was scrolling through Instagram. I think it was, what was the last weekend? And I texted you. I go, man, are you on Maynard James Keenan's Instagram page?

Clownvis (3:49)

Yeah, that was crazy, man. I got, you know, I know him. We're buddies these days, but I got a request on Cameo from him.

And I didn't hear from him, but I just got a Cameo that was from Maynard.

Rizz (4:01)

Maynard from Tool, one of my favorite bands of all time.

Clownvis (4:03)

Yeah, and it was from Maynard and Karina Round, who is the girl in Puscifer, and then his wife, Jen. It was from them to Matt and Gunnar Nelson. Get out of here. That's what I thought.

Rizz (4:19)

That's what I thought too.

Clownvis (4:20)

And the request was, this is for two twins, it's their 70th birthday, you know, and a couple of like insidey joke things. So I made a nice thing for what I thought was Matthew and Gunnar Nelson from Maynard. And I was thinking the whole time, I'm like, what is the connection here?