DAILY SHOW: Glory Hole Challenge I'm Not An Over Milker | The Rizzuto Comedy Podcast

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All right, let's hit it.

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Little listener discretion is advised. Rizzuto.

Oh, no, I'm being given instructions not to touch cardboard. Get out, Jeff. Well, Moon's missing the isolation headphones.

SPEAKER_4 (1:25)

Someone has touched my things.

SPEAKER_5 (1:27)

Maybe you misplaced them.

SPEAKER_4 (1:28)

That's not what I do.

SPEAKER_3 (1:29)

Yeah, let's gaslight you into thinking you've misplaced them. This is your fault.

SPEAKER_4 (1:33)

There's one or two places.

SPEAKER_5 (1:34)

Oh, you did.

SPEAKER_4 (1:35)

That's how I live my life.

SPEAKER_5 (1:36)

One of two places. Who would come in and steal them?

SPEAKER_3 (1:38)

Josh McNeil.

SPEAKER_5 (1:40)

Video Josh.

SPEAKER_3 (1:41)

He likes to stash things in his office.

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He loves headphones. Like a squirt. Well, he is saving up for the winter.

SPEAKER_3 (1:46)

That's right. He's nesting.

SPEAKER_5 (1:49)

He's collecting things to save up for the winter.

SPEAKER_4 (1:52)

Why are they gone?

SPEAKER_5 (1:54)

Well, nobody comes in here.

SPEAKER_3 (1:56)

Josh comes in here.

SPEAKER_5 (1:57)

I mean, Donnie.

SPEAKER_3 (1:59)

Donnie doesn't want our stuff.

SPEAKER_4 (2:00)

Yeah.

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He's got his own crap.

SPEAKER_4 (2:04)

I would never leave my stuff in Donnie's way. Donnie would only touch something if it was in his way.

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He's here somewhere.

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I did see Marshall, our engineer, he got into skateboarding recently and he's been listening to headphones.

SPEAKER_7 (2:16)

Oh, he's in a skateboarding company?

SPEAKER_3 (2:18)

That's tight.

SPEAKER_5 (2:18)

Never too old. No, that is you're too old to get into skateboarding.

SPEAKER_3 (2:22)

Can you imagine Marshall on a skateboard? I want to see it.

SPEAKER_7 (2:24)

I can.

SPEAKER_4 (2:26)

I can.

SPEAKER_7 (2:26)

Yes, I can.

SPEAKER_4 (2:26)

That's the visual joke that a lovely man.

SPEAKER_5 (2:28)

I can picture Marshall dropping in.

SPEAKER_4 (2:30)

Listen, the audience isn't really on board on that.

SPEAKER_5 (2:32)

Listen, I think we've discussed this before, skateboarding, there is a time when it's too late to start.

SPEAKER_4 (2:40)

Oh my gosh, yeah. I think it's like 18

I think if you don't start early, you're not going to be as good as everybody else. I tried when I was like 15 or 16 and I rolled my ankle once and I went, I'm done. Oh dude, it was Peter Griffin to the max. I hit the floor and I just knew, I can't do this. I can't dedicate the time to this and music and get good at either.

SPEAKER_5 (3:04)

We had a couple of kids in high school that were skateboarders. Man, when they would be cruising around, they would look cool as hell.

SPEAKER_4 (3:10)

Oh, it is cool, dude.

SPEAKER_5 (3:11)

One dude had a long board. I'm like, oh, there's long boards too?

SPEAKER_4 (3:14)

Oh, dude, we toured with Deftones and Thrice on the same tour. And all of those guys, all their crew, every band member, everybody.

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Incredible skateboarders.

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And that's all we would do in these arenas because they got perfect floors.

SPEAKER_5 (3:29)

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_4 (3:30)

And I would just stand there like an idiot. I just felt like I was left out of the kickball team. Like, God, man, they do that.

SPEAKER_5 (3:35)

Well, I'd watch these guys skateboard on the cool as hell with their baggy jeans and hot girlfriends.

SPEAKER_3 (3:42)

Yes.

SPEAKER_5 (3:42)

And then I'm like, okay, good luck on a hill going up.

SPEAKER_3 (3:46)

Dude, and the hot girlfriends, can we talk? They skated too. Like, you ever see a hot chick in California on a longboard, just living her best life?

SPEAKER_5 (3:54)

In her bikini top?

SPEAKER_3 (3:55)

All I want to be.

SPEAKER_5 (3:56)

Yeah, what, skateboarders, what do you do on a hill going up? Huh? You look cool going down, not going up.

SPEAKER_3 (4:01)

Well, no, nobody does.

I was watching The Rules of Attraction last night, that old 2002 movie with James Van Der Beek and Shannon Sossman. Tim hadn't seen it before, so I put it on.

And Shannon Sossman was like the epitome of cool in that movie because she had the coolest hair and she was a little skateboarder. And she's like rolling through Camden University on her skateboard. And I'm like, damn, I still want to be her all these years later.

SPEAKER_6 (4:21)

Was he Patrick Bateman in that movie or was he Bateman's brother?