DAILY PODCAST: Please Destroy My Property Signed Lern Elwell | The Rizzuto Comedy Show

Scott Rizzuto (0:00)

The choice of a lawyer is an important decision. It should not be based solely on advertisements.

SPEAKER_2 (0:04)

My name is Rosemary, and I was seriously injured in a car accident. Brown and Crouppen was right there from the start, all hands on deck. What I like most about Brown and Crouppen is that I had someone there with me right away, helping me with the claim.

SPEAKER_3 (0:21)

We care about you, and we will get you every dollar you deserve, no matter what. We're Brown and Crouppen.

SPEAKER_2 (0:29)

They are the best.

SPEAKER_3 (0:45)

The Rizzuto Show Podcast, powered by Dobbs.

SPEAKER_4 (0:48)

Dobbs Tire and Auto Centers are hiring.

Scott Rizzuto (0:50)

Now with 42 stores, apply at gotodobbs.com today. Little in listener discretion is advised.

SPEAKER_6 (1:04)

Verudo.

Scott Rizzuto (1:13)

Oh, my God, we're so happy here.

SPEAKER_8 (1:19)

We are great.

Scott Rizzuto (1:20)

Come on, we're fine. It's Wednesday.

SPEAKER_8 (1:22)

You look like Wayne Campbell today. I do?

SPEAKER_10 (1:24)

Yeah, you got your black shirt on with your black hat.

Scott Rizzuto (1:26)

Thank you.

SPEAKER_8 (1:28)

Where's Cassandra?

Scott Rizzuto (1:29)

Thank you. I'm getting a haircut on Friday.

SPEAKER_8 (1:31)

I got my haircut yesterday.

Scott Rizzuto (1:33)

I'm getting it chopped off. I'm done.

SPEAKER_8 (1:35)

I get one haircut a year. How often do you think you get your haircut?

Scott Rizzuto (1:39)

Normally, like every four weeks.

SPEAKER_8 (1:41)

I do one time a year and I hate it. I hate getting my haircut.

Scott Rizzuto (1:44)

With the longer locks?

Moon (1:47)

He got his haircut once every four weeks until there was a bet on the table.

SPEAKER_9 (1:50)

Now it's like four months.

SPEAKER_6 (1:52)

Yeah, then he couldn't get his hair to his shoulders.

SPEAKER_8 (1:54)

I was looking at you, your hair, like I was walking behind you earlier and your hair looks like a bunny tail.

Scott Rizzuto (1:59)

Yeah, it's all quaffed out.

SPEAKER_8 (2:00)

Yeah, you got quaffed.

Scott Rizzuto (2:01)

It's humid.

SPEAKER_6 (2:03)

Fluffy.

SPEAKER_8 (2:03)

It's nice outside though. It's like 68 degrees.

Scott Rizzuto (2:06)

Yeah, I wish it was 69, but it's not. Maybe in a little while it will be.

SPEAKER_8 (2:12)

But today was like, it gave me just a little hope for Halloween and I looked up we're at 101 days until Halloween.

Moon (2:19)

Which is on a Saturday this year.

SPEAKER_8 (2:21)

I know.

Moon (2:21)

It's a big deal. That's a big deal.

SPEAKER_8 (2:24)

I'm excited.

Rafe (2:24)

I've already started dreaming it up.

Moon (2:26)

Yeah, it only happens like once every 100 years.

SPEAKER_8 (2:29)

Every seven.

Moon (2:30)

That's the math, man.

Scott Rizzuto (2:34)

Yeah. You know what? If it was on a Monday or a Saturday for me, it's fine.

Moon (2:38)

It just means more crap is going to happen. Bad things.

Scott Rizzuto (2:42)

What do you mean?

Moon (2:42)

More people are going to get, you know.

SPEAKER_6 (2:44)

Are you talking about more mischief?

Moon (2:46)

Yeah, more mischief. No way. Fewer people have things to do in the morning.

Rafe (2:49)

Guys, return of satanic panic.

Scott Rizzuto (2:53)

Because Halloween is on a Saturday? Halloween is on a Saturday.

Was Halloween on Friday? Return of 1987

SPEAKER_9 (2:59)

Halloween was on Friday last year.

Scott Rizzuto (3:00)

That's right. Now it's on Saturday.

SPEAKER_9 (3:04)

What was that? Holy cow.

Scott Rizzuto (3:05)

Was that Price is Right?

Scott Rizzuto (3:06)

Yeah.

SPEAKER_4 (3:10)

It's just dead, evil, Bob Barker.

Scott Rizzuto (3:13)

Nice.

SPEAKER_3 (3:14)

Ooh, I was born on a Saturday.

Scott Rizzuto (3:17)

Were you born on a Saturday?

Rafe (3:18)

I was born on a Thursday.

SPEAKER_10 (3:20)

I was born on a Thursday, too.

Scott Rizzuto (3:21)

4:50 p.m. Shout out to Thursdays.

Moon (3:24)

Friday Babies.

Rafe (3:25)

My mom said she knew I was always going to be a man of the night, because I was Mr. Born on Saturday night.

Scott Rizzuto (3:31)

Mr. Saturday night.

SPEAKER_8 (3:32)

You're born with bell bottoms on it.

Scott Rizzuto (3:33)

It's cool.

SPEAKER_6 (3:34)

Pretty cool.

Rafe (3:35)

She's like, you were late. They couldn't get you out. You waited.

Late baby. Then she's like, you put Tosun or whatever they gave her. She's like, immune.

Scott Rizzuto (3:44)

Guys, listen.

Rafe (3:46)

Took your time. Still sauntering this day.

Scott Rizzuto (3:48)

Halloween is on a Saturday.

Rafe (3:51)

Guys, Halloween hasn't fallen on a Saturday.

Scott Rizzuto (3:54)

Since?

Rafe (3:55)

Since the year way back. In 2020

Scott Rizzuto (4:01)

Whoa.

Scott Rizzuto (4:02)

Remember what happened that year? Remember 2020, guys.