DAILY PODCAST: Oh My God A Buttless Raccoon | The Rizzuto Comedy Show

Scott Rizzuto (0:14)

The Rizzuto Show Podcast, powered by Dobbs.

Lern (0:17)

Dobbs Tire and Auto Centers are hiring now with 42 stores.

Scott Rizzuto (0:20)

Apply at gotodobbs.com today.

Moon (0:23)

All right, let's hit it.

Rafe (0:25)

Little listener discretion is advised.

Scott (0:32)

Verudo.

Lern (0:48)

Let's go.

Rafe (0:49)

It's supposed to rain today.

Lern (0:51)

We need the rain.

Rafe (0:52)

We know we need it.

Lern (0:53)

Yeah, what time?

Moon (0:54)

What time are we looking at?

Rafe (0:55)

I think around 2 o'clock.

Lern (0:56)

To be real, I'm cool with it.

Rafe (0:58)

Wow, what do you gotta do outside?

Moon (0:59)

I got family stuff, and my mama Moon comes up to swim every Friday in the 3 o'clock hour.

Lern (1:06)

Well, she gonna be swimming in the rain, y'all.

Rafe (1:07)

It's getting wet either way.

Rafe (1:09)

I feel like it has rained.

Lern (1:12)

Oh, the rain. This summer.

Bill Ryder (1:14)

The water was cold.

Lern (1:15)

Are we in her house?

Rafe (1:18)

Yes, Rafe.

Rafe (1:19)

I forgot.

Rafe (1:19)

Mama Moon is swimming.

Rafe (1:21)

I interrupted her high diving. I feel bad.

Moon (1:26)

It's a can opener.

Rafe (1:31)

Yes. Yes, Rafe. No, I'm out.

Rafe (1:34)

I'll see you at 730

Lern (1:37)

Oh.

Rafe (1:45)

Continue, Rafe, please.

Rafe (1:47)

I'm just gonna say curse words.

Ready? Finger on the button.

Lern (1:51)

No.

Bill Ryder (1:51)

Five, four, three, two, one.

Rafe (1:53)

It's I don't give a... Fry it out. Oh, that's illegal still?

Lern (1:59)

Yeah, once they have to see you gonna just be like, screw it, you guys can do whatever you want.

Rafe (2:02)

I don't think ever.

Lern (2:03)

Oh, dude, this would be the time.

Rafe (2:05)

Now's the time.

Lern (2:06)

Now is the time.

Rafe (2:06)

Well, fine, we'll take it to a podcast and then we could say whatever we want.

Lern (2:09)

Like, we have a president who cusses all the time.

Scott (2:11)

Now is the time.

Rafe (2:12)

Oh, it's licensed to?

Lern (2:13)

Oh, okay. Let's go.

Scott (2:13)

And if the government shuts down, is that agency shut down?

Rafe (2:16)

No, they're always working.

They love working. They'll even do it without pay.

Scott (2:23)

Those guys are awesome.

Rafe (2:25)

You got outdoor activities today? Who's upset about the rain?

Rafe (2:28)

You?

Lern (2:29)

Clean your house Friday, dude.

Rafe (2:30)

No, I'm just, I feel like it just rained a lot this summer. I just feel like it's been, I feel like every Monday and Friday, it rains for some reason. I get my allergy shots on Monday and every time I'm sitting in the waiting room at 11 o'clock down there, I feel like a typhoon blows through.

Moon (2:47)

I do have to work outside a little bit today. It wasn't planned like that, but speaking of the pool, yesterday, I needed to put a little bit of water in it. I was showing, I got no trees.

Rafe (2:57)

Let God do it for you.

Moon (2:58)

Well, right.

I got no trees back there, so now the pool is heating up naturally with sunlight, but it's evaporating a little bit quicker. So I needed to put in some water. So I turned the hose on and then we started Bags Against the Machine rehearsal.

Rafe (3:11)

You forgot?

Moon (3:12)

Brother, this morning, I was taking my vitamins, getting ready to get in the car, and I'm like, what the heck is that sound, man? What is that sound?

Rafe (3:20)

Oh, was it the water going over the walls?

Moon (3:22)

Dude, I'm walking around the house going, who left a fan on? Because every person in my family leaves a bathroom fan on. And I was like, it doesn't sound like a fan. It must be from the basement. And I went, oh, no!

I left the hose on, full blast. And I went outside and you couldn't even hear the water, which means where the end of the hose was was now under water. And I went out there and it is at the concrete. It's completely...

Rafe (3:49)

Well, tell your mother to do some cannonballs and get that water out of there. Let's go.

Moon (3:53)

I'm gonna have to get rid of it, but I panicked. I thought I was filling the creek.

Rafe (3:57)

Everybody grab a bucket.

Moon (3:59)

I thought it was gonna be overflowing. I was this close. If I had left it on this morning, it would have been overflowing.

Rafe (4:04)

It would have spilled over. Crisis averted.

Moon (4:06)

Well, except for who knows what the bill is gonna be.