DAILY PODCAST: It Is NOT National Hot Dog Day | The Rizzuto Comedy Show

Lern (0:00)

Phoenix has bizarre crime.

SPEAKER_2 (0:02)

The canals of Phoenix, Arizona are hunted by a serial killer.

Devon (0:06)

People are like, well, are we safe?

SPEAKER_4 (0:09)

These are sexual assailants.

SPEAKER_2 (0:10)

Two grisly homicides.

SPEAKER_5 (0:12)

I know I didn't kill anyone.

SPEAKER_2 (0:14)

But solving these murders is just the beginning. That can't be his first rodeo. This is season six of American Nightmares, The Canal Murders.

Coming soon, wherever you get your podcasts.

Lern (0:29)

Phoenix has bizarre crime.

SPEAKER_2 (0:31)

The canals of Phoenix, Arizona are hunted by a serial killer.

Devon (0:36)

People are like, well, are we safe?

SPEAKER_4 (0:38)

These are sexual assailants.

SPEAKER_2 (0:39)

Two grisly homicides.

SPEAKER_5 (0:41)

I know I didn't kill anyone.

SPEAKER_2 (0:43)

But solving these murders is just the beginning. That can't be his first rodeo. This is season six of American Nightmares, The Canal Murders, coming soon, wherever you get your podcasts.

SPEAKER_6 (1:12)

The Rizzuto Show Podcast, powered by Dobbs.

Lern (1:15)

Dobbs Tire and Auto Centers are hiring.

SPEAKER_2 (1:17)

Now with 42 stores.

SPEAKER_4 (1:18)

Apply at gotodobbs.com today. All right, let's hit it.

Rizz (1:24)

Little in listener discretion is advised. Yeah, boy, how are we feeling today?

Lern (2:02)

Good?

Moon (2:03)

We're feeling good.

Lern (2:03)

We're chipper.

Moon (2:04)

We've gotten a lot off of our shoulders.

Lern (2:06)

I, well, yes, but also I was almost a, are you going to be joining us today? Text girl, because I slept through three of my alarms.

Rizz (2:15)

You set three alarms?

Lern (2:16)

I do.

Rizz (2:18)

I would say for me, of the five days we got up early, I got up before my alarm three to four of those days.

Lern (2:26)

Well, good for you. I am not that.

Rizz (2:28)

So you all sleep up to your alarms?

Moon (2:31)

No, probably 30% of the time, I make it to an alarm.

Rizz (2:36)

Oh, yeah, I'm about to say.

Lern (2:37)

I'm through... So my alarms start going off incrementally, right? We have the early alarm that's blissful. It's like, hey girl, like, hey boo, wake up.

Rizz (2:45)

You wake up to a song?

Lern (2:46)

I wake up to like a little climbing chime. It's very beautiful.

Rizz (2:49)

So my wife does too. It's very annoying.

Lern (2:51)

And then the second alarm gets a little bit more aggressive. And then it's like, okay, boo, get up. And then the third alarm, well right now it's the Atlanta Rhythm section, Spooky, which is really an, it's kind of gotten an annoying, spooky beginning.

Do you know what I'm talking, do you know the Atlanta Rhythm section?

Rizz (3:09)

I'm sure if I heard it.

Lern (3:09)

Let me just play this one thing.

Rizz (3:11)

My alarm is as if a submarine is going under.

Rafe (3:14)

Yeah. Red alert.

Rizz (3:16)

Yeah. Mine is a red alert.

Rafe (3:18)

We don't practice self love the same way they do. You and I, I have a feeling are the same.

Rizz (3:24)

It might as well be a hand just slaps me in the face awake.

Lern (3:27)

Well, it used to, like a couple of months ago, it was crazy from Aerosmith. So it would be Stephen Tyler going, come here, baby.

Rizz (3:33)

Oh.

Lern (3:34)

Or crying.

Moon (3:34)

Yeah. Whichever one.

Lern (3:35)

And so this is now what I got going on.

I would hate this. But it's just a little. Oh, that's a great song. Yeah. Do you know what this song is?

Moon (3:51)

Yeah. Yeah, dude.

Lern (3:52)

This is the best.

Rizz (3:53)

It's a great song.

Lern (3:54)

Let's jam for a second.

Rizz (4:03)

Oh, great song. Okay.

Lern (4:05)

All right. KG Classics. All right.

Anyway, so that's what I wake up to now. Now I'm thinking I got to maybe change that because it's not as aggressive.

Rafe (4:13)

Yeah, dude. I don't know how you do it. I can't trust myself that I won't just incorporate a song right into my dream.

Moon (4:18)

Yeah.

SPEAKER_4 (4:18)

Yeah.

Moon (4:18)

Yeah.

Lern (4:19)

Yeah. I almost did that today.

SPEAKER_4 (4:20)

The world is...

Rafe (4:22)

I got to have something that's like, get your ass up. Get your ass up. Someone's in the house. You're about to die.

Moon (4:28)

Yeah.

Lern (4:29)

The who won't get fooled again.

Moon (4:31)

To the iPhone, we'll do this thing.

Lern (4:33)

That's what you need.

Moon (4:34)

You can do... It's up there.

Rafe (4:35)

Get up. It's up.

Moon (4:37)

It's up.

Devon (4:39)

Yeah.

Rafe (4:40)

I need some... Even that's... There's a chance. There's some rhythm to it. I need... I have like the submarine alarm. Like the...