Cristina Mariani

**SPEAKER_1** (0:00)
This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When you're advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales. Using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at accenture.com/spotify.

**Theo Von** (0:30)
Just a reminder that Busboys the Movie is available to stream at home on Apple TV, Prime Video, YouTube. You can see all the options at busboysmovie.com.
Make sure to go ahead and check that out. We've also got some DVDs available if you're into that. Thank you to anyone and everyone who helped support our movie. Amen. Today's guest is a stand-up comedian out of Austin, Texas. You may know her from Kill Tony and from her tour currently in America and in Europe as well next year. I had a great time getting to know the hilarious Miss Cristina Mariani.
Thank you for coming, and thanks for adjusting your time, or whatever was going on in your life.

**Cristina Mariani** (1:34)
Oh yeah, thanks for having me. You know, for a second, I thought you meant you were gonna do my podcast, and then I was like, why would he, he didn't know about the, I'd click later, that's why I asked if you could do it in the evening.

**Theo Von** (1:45)
Oh, really?

**Cristina Mariani** (1:47)
Yeah.

**Theo Von** (1:48)
I'm glad that you would think about me being on there. I don't know what hat to wear here.
What do you think, Cristina, what do you think if you had to pick a hat for a guy that's sitting in here? That's one.

**Cristina Mariani** (2:05)
I think I like that one more.

**Theo Von** (2:06)
You like this one more?

**Cristina Mariani** (2:07)
Yeah. You look tan.

**Theo Von** (2:10)
What do you say I look handsome?

**Cristina Mariani** (2:11)
Tan.

**Theo Von** (2:12)
Oh, okay.

**Cristina Mariani** (2:13)
Yeah. Like you've been in the sun.

**Theo Von** (2:15)
Oh, I thought you meant, I honestly, I thought it gave me a little streak. I thought you look closer to being like a BG black guy.

**Cristina Mariani** (2:23)
Oh, no. Not with a mullet.

**Theo Von** (2:26)
That's true.

**Cristina Mariani** (2:27)
You never see a black guy with a mullet.

**Theo Von** (2:29)
But you know what I think is something that should come back is the jerry curl.

**Cristina Mariani** (2:34)
That's what you were saying.

**Theo Von** (2:36)
You and Zach were just mentioning that?

**SPEAKER_1** (2:37)
Well, she was talking about mullets and she was like, if he was, it's a long story.

**SPEAKER_4** (2:40)
We were talking if you were black and you had a mullet.

**SPEAKER_5** (2:42)
I said, I think that's a jerry curl.

**Cristina Mariani** (2:44)
Oh, that's what a jerry curl is. I didn't know.

**Theo Von** (2:46)
Oh, that's a jerry curl, baby.

**Cristina Mariani** (2:48)
Okay.

**Theo Von** (2:49)
Sorry. It's hard to call you baby too. Also, that's insane and that's very unprofessional and it's not cool.

**Cristina Mariani** (2:53)
I felt like you were being a narrator, not you, Theo, just the narrator of the...

**Theo Von** (2:57)
Thank you.

**Cristina Mariani** (2:58)
Yeah.

**Theo Von** (2:58)
I wasn't trying to be offensive to you or anything. No, no.

**Cristina Mariani** (3:00)
I didn't think so. You said I was aloof. That was worse.

**Theo Von** (3:03)
Okay. Before we were rolling, I thought... Yeah. Yeah.

**Cristina Mariani** (3:06)
But now everyone knows. If I'm being weird, it's because you called me aloof and now I'm in my head about it.

**Theo Von** (3:12)
Okay.

**Cristina Mariani** (3:14)
Oh, sorry.

**Theo Von** (3:16)
Your hair looks nice. How about that? Can I say that?

**Cristina Mariani** (3:18)
Yeah.

**Theo Von** (3:18)
You're very funny too. Let me say that first.

**Cristina Mariani** (3:20)
Okay. Cool.

**Theo Von** (3:21)
Yeah. And your hair looks really nice. It looks different than the last time I saw it.

**Cristina Mariani** (3:24)
I got bangs. Just, yeah. I just wanted to try it.

**Theo Von** (3:28)
And how does a bang choice come on? I know that's...

**Cristina Mariani** (3:32)
How? You know, every once in a while, something happens during the month for girls and you just get more testosterone and then you start making decisions.

**Theo Von** (3:43)
Oh, really?

**Cristina Mariani** (3:43)
Yeah. I feel like that's when I make all my important decisions is around my period.

**Theo Von** (3:47)
You mean something ovular.

**Cristina Mariani** (3:49)
Oh, just like, because you get way more testosterone in your body when you're about to... That's why we get so angry because we're closer to you guys when we're about to get our periods. We're the closest to guys. So then...