"Colman Domingo"

Sean Hayes (0:00)

Sitting in traffic, huh? Watching an old lady with a walker make it further up the road than you have in the last 15 minutes.

And of course, your gas tank is in the perfect spot between not a problem to stranded on the highway. Hit your booking point, book with Southwest, and enter airplane mode. Experience award-winning reliability, fly with the best crew in the sky, and never worry about change or cancellation fees. Now, tell that old lady to slow down. Kids live around here.

Southwest Airlines, enter airplane mode.

Jason Bateman (0:40)

Did you ever notice the best deals are just obvious, like hotels.com? What do they do, you may ask? Hotels on the Internet. And a lot of them, like hundreds of thousands. I don't know why I just turned into Sean Hayes. Plus, if you join for free, you can save up to 20% instantly with member prices and you earn rewards every time you book. So, your next trip basically starts paying for itself. It's simple and you get more out of every stay.

Sign up for free and book today. hotels.com. It's all in the name.

Sean Hayes (1:20)

The place you call home is important to you. So, it's important to Allstate. Because home is where you make all your memories. Like forcing your grown siblings to wear matching PJs in front of the fireplace for your annual photo.

It might not be a memory they cherish, but it's one you'll never forget.

If it's important to you, it's important to Allstate. Switch to Allstate and you could save hundreds on home insurance today. Not available in every state. Potential savings vary subject to terms and qualifications. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates Northbrook, Illinois.

Jason Bateman (2:00)

Guys, welcome to another fresh cold open on SmartLess.

Will Arnett (2:06)

Oh, is this a fresh one?

Jason Bateman (2:07)

I'm happy to have you two here, guest starring in a cold open.

SPEAKER_4 (2:10)

I'm really excited to be here and see you guys.

Sean Hayes (2:12)

This is really incredible.

Jason Bateman (2:13)

I've been wanting to get you guys in a cold open for a while.

Sean Hayes (2:15)

You look just like your pictures, yeah.

Jason Bateman (2:17)

So, what do you guys understand a cold open to be? Do you think it is as...

Will Arnett (2:22)

We just want to We're going... to blast into and get into the show.

Sean Hayes (2:24)

Yeah, I know what it is. It's probably short.

Jason Bateman (2:27)

You don't think it has anything to do with temperature or anything like that?

Will Arnett (2:30)

No, I don't think we belabor it in the way that you are. Okay, but anyway.

Jason Bateman (2:34)

So you just want to get into the show then?

Will Arnett (2:35)

Yeah, I just want to say, Hey, welcome to All New SmartLess.

Jason Bateman (2:37)

Oh, okay. Welcome to All New SmartLess.

Will Arnett (2:57)

Wait, there was something that I wanted to talk about. What were we talking about the other night at dinner?

Jason Bateman (3:01)

You wanted to talk about your love for me and for Sean. Go ahead, we're ready to listen.

Sean Hayes (3:06)

No, there was two things. Yeah, you wanted to talk about the gay chat line.

Colman Domingo (3:10)

Oh, the gay chat line.

Sean Hayes (3:11)

And you wanted to talk about it.

Jason Bateman (3:12)

Yeah, what was it called? It was Manhole.

Sean Hayes (3:14)

I looked it up. I looked it up.

I thought it was called Manhole. It was called Pardon Sir.

Will Arnett (3:19)

Pardon Sir.

Jason Bateman (3:21)

That's like you're on a crowded subway.

Will Arnett (3:23)

So Sean, tell this story. So you, it was a crowded subway. Pardon Sir.

Your mom came to you one day.

Sean Hayes (3:31)

How old were you?

Will Arnett (3:31)

You were like 17, maybe.

Sean Hayes (3:32)

Yeah, 17 or 18 or somewhere around 17, 19 And I would go downstairs to the phone in the basement and I would call a gay chat line, like a party line, like, hey, what's going on? And I didn't know that it was, I don't know, back then it was like two bucks a minute or five bucks a minute, I don't know, some crazy kind of money. And I'd talk and talk and talk and my mom came to me with the bill. She's like, are you calling? Now it's called Pardon Sir or whatever it is. Because she called it and found out what it was. And I was like, oh, I was so embarrassed.

I was like, oh, that's just a joke.

Jason Bateman (4:02)