Charisma Teacher: Psychology Of Why People Don't Like You! People Are Attracted To These Traits! The Secret To Being Instantly Likeable!

Steven Bartlett (0:00)

I want to go through these five habits that make people instantly dislike you.

Charlie Houpert (0:03)

Yes.

SPEAKER_3 (0:04)

Yes.

Charlie Houpert (0:04)

So these are tiny little things that a lot of people do without even realizing that they're doing this sort of stuff. First one is, Oh my God.

Steven Bartlett (0:12)

So true. Charlie Houpert is a leading expert in charisma and confidence.

SPEAKER_3 (0:16)

His insights and practical techniques have helped millions of people master communication and body language to thrive in both personal and professional relationships.

Steven Bartlett (0:24)

How important is charisma and confidence?

Charlie Houpert (0:26)

It's perhaps the most underrated piece of success, and it's the ability to speak with conviction, the ability to influence someone, ability to connect with people. I mean, look at Donald Trump. He talked his way into the literal presidency of the United States of America. It's so incredibly powerful.

Steven Bartlett (0:38)

And is it something that you can learn?

Charlie Houpert (0:39)

Yeah, I'm a testament to that because growing up, I was invisible, not making new friends, not forming connections. I wasn't dating because there was this fear that I would get hurt.

Steven Bartlett (0:47)

Where did that come from?

Charlie Houpert (0:48)

Part of it is through the experiences that I had. One of them was being sexually abused, and I felt disgusted with myself.

I was struggling and frustrated with the compensations I'd made as a result of it. And so I learned all the tips and tricks to develop confidence, and I became a completely different person.

Steven Bartlett (1:11)

We're going to go through all of them.

Charlie Houpert (1:12)

Amazing. So there's prey versus predator movement, which is tremendously valuable for first impressions. And then there's the charismatic traits which women are attracted to. The 60-second hack to establish trust and respect. And then I have six charismatic mindsets for success, and there's plenty more.

Steven Bartlett (1:25)

Listen, I've got time.

Charlie Houpert (1:26)

Okay, so let's break it down.

Steven Bartlett (1:33)

Charlie, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of millions of people have benefited from your work, and tens of thousands of people have been through university learning about something. If you had to explain in your own words what it is that you're doing for those people in a simple way, how would you say that?

Charlie Houpert (1:53)

Take all the situations where you're interacting with another person, whether it's at your work, dating, friends in groups, and take the times that you're feeling that you're not grounded in that sense of confidence that you maybe have when you're sitting at home on the couch with your friend or your family, and bring the best version of yourself to those situations. I think a lot of people also want flowing conversations. They want to feel like themselves. They want to be the person that is respected and is admired. When they walk into a room, they want other people to notice them. That's one of the big ones that we hear from guys, is they want to be the person that anytime they enter a room, that women and men take notice of them. It usually is an acute thing. So a lot of people show up because there's a girl that they liked and it's not going well, or something like that. Or they went out for a promotion and somebody that they felt was less qualified then wound up getting the job. So they come in with a very acute social situation that they would like to change. They'd like to get the girl, they'd like to get the job, they'd like to be the leader in their friend group. But when people have gone through the course, what I see is they speak more about a sense of joy in life and confidence, because I think that if you feel disconnected from people, there's actually read a thing this morning that some guy said, you know, I came here and I started applying your ideas and I got more tips at my job as a waiter, which was really cool. But also, I felt as if I had fallen into nihilism. Like I was just, things didn't matter anymore. And my ability to connect with people is shifting that for me. I feel more connected, less nihilistic.

Steven Bartlett (3:20)

It's interesting because when people hear words like phrases like body language and charisma and confidence, they sound like tips and tricks and stuff. But when I think about the impact that these things have had on my own life, when I think about even presidential elections and how our society is designed and who rises to the top and who doesn't, so much of it seems to depend on whether you understand naturally or through learning the skills, how to be charismatic, confident, how to sell, how to get someone else in some situation to believe you to buy into what you have to say. So I guess my question to you is how important is it? Like someone that has the skills that you teach people versus someone that doesn't, how much of a trajectory shift is that going to be do you think on their life?