Carlye Aquilino: A Joke About Her Biggest Fears

**Carlye Aquilino** (0:03)
Do I have two tampons in right now? I don't even know. I don't even know where they go. Honestly, I have no idea. I lose them constantly. I have no idea where they are. That's my biggest fear as a grown woman. Can you imagine?
By the way, that happened to me, and I don't want to talk about it, but I'm going to tell you guys everything. So I went to go to the bathroom, and I pull my pants down, and I look down, and I saw two strings. And I was like, am I a ceiling fan? Like, why?
Why exactly are there two strings coming out of my body right now? I don't know if you guys know this, anything more than one string is classified as an emergency. Like, that's bad, it's a bad vibe. I had to go to the doctor, my poor gyno, this poor woman, I feel so bad for her. She hates me, I know that she does. I'm always going to her with problems that I make up, like, I always think I'm pregnant. Every single month, I think I'm pregnant. Even if I don't have sex, I'm like, I don't know, it happened to Mary. Like, it definitely happened to me.
The last time I went in to her for that, she said, let me ask you a question. She said, the person that you were with, did he withdraw?
Took me a second, definitely took me a second to realize what she said. And then when I figured it out, I was like, that was so classy. Like, honestly, I felt like a princess. I was like, this was really nice for me. Thank you so much. I never heard it said that way. Withdraw? I was like, girl, he deposits. Um, she's making a lot of transactions, and it's bad.

**SPEAKER_2** (2:05)
Catch Carly Aquilino in The Best of Netflix is a Joke, The Festival, only on Netflix.