Candlescaping, LOL Wars & Joeing at 30,000 Feet

Lern (0:00)

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SPEAKER_2 (0:30)

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Rizzuto (1:07)

Hello, everybody.

Lern (1:08)

Hi.

SPEAKER_5 (1:08)

Hello, it's Thursday.

Rizzuto (1:10)

And we are live coming at you on the September 24th, 2026 Here we are.

Lern (1:17)

Welcome.

SPEAKER_5 (1:18)

Welcome.

Rizzuto (1:18)

Welcome to the show, guys.

Scott (1:19)

Thank you.

Rizzuto (1:21)

Got a couple, two things, two, three things planned out for you. It'll be good. Some good topics. Maybe a game later. I don't know. Give away surprises.

SPEAKER_2 (1:28)

I don't know what's going to happen today.

Lern (1:29)

Thursday.

Rizzuto (1:30)

Big Thursday. Rafe's out because he hates Thursdays.

Lern (1:33)

He does.

Rizzuto (1:34)

He stayed in bed. It's fine.

Lern (1:35)

He slept in.

Rizzuto (1:36)

That's fine. Oh, he don't want to talk about candlescaping.

Lern (1:40)

Which I don't know why not, because he is a candle slut. He's he's a candle boy.

Rizzuto (1:44)

Heard of this candlescaping thing.

Moon (1:46)

Candlescaping? No. You landscape your candle?

Lern (1:50)

It's when you pour the wax on your chest hair and you rip it off.

Rizzuto (1:52)

Yes.

Moon (1:53)

Oh, that's just.

Rizzuto (1:54)

Hottest trend, huh, Lern?

Lern (1:55)

Oh, yeah. It's just waxing. I was candlescaping the other day. In fact, after our broadcast at Scott Air Force Base later, I will be candlescaping my way through King's Highway to go visit my pal Maven. Oh, my God, this sounds so lame. Get some candles and go home. What?

Rizzuto (2:09)

This sounds so lame. Like an old woman thing to do.

Lern (2:12)

It is an old woman thing to do, but we are there, guys.

Rizzuto (2:14)

Oh, man, I mean, it's fall, right?

Lern (2:17)

Yeah.

Rizzuto (2:17)

It's fall, so if you love filling your house with the fall vibes, you know, the second the temperature drops, you know, the home design world does a new buzzword for you. Candlescaping.

SPEAKER_5 (2:29)

Get your sense, girl.

Rizzuto (2:31)

So instead of just lighting a single pumpkin-scented jar on a coffee table, candlescaping is the art of layering complimentary frequencies, mixing candle shapes, strategically placing flickering light throughout your house to create maximum coziness.

Lern (2:51)

It is cozy. You don't like a candle?

Rizzuto (2:53)

No.

Lern (2:54)

None of you? No, I mean, I like it.

Rizzuto (2:56)

We're not candle people.

Scott (2:57)

My family had a candle. They used to have a candle business for ages.

Lern (3:01)

That's cool.

Scott (3:02)

So I got to grow up making them.

Lern (3:03)

Yeah, until I put it out of business. Well, they retired from it.

Moon (3:07)

They were the originators of the corncob candle.

Lern (3:11)

Are you serious? I'm not kidding. Are you serious?

Moon (3:13)

Yeah.

Rizzuto (3:14)

Are you serious?

Scott (3:15)

Yeah.

Rizzuto (3:15)

Never heard of it.

Scott (3:16)

It was a thing.

Rizzuto (3:17)

What corncob candle?

Moon (3:19)

I'm telling you, dude, like around here, there was a lot of corncob candles, especially around the fall time, and it came from his family.

Rizzuto (3:26)

Your family, huh?

Lern (3:27)

Yeah.

Rizzuto (3:27)

How are you not a billionaire? How are you not living in a mansion?

Scott (3:32)

I know. And they also had the Gandalf candle way before Lord of the Rings ever came out.

Lern (3:36)

It was like a big guy?

Scott (3:37)

Oh, like Lord of the Rings. It looked like Lord of the Rings.

Lern (3:39)

Like a big wizard, yeah.

Scott (3:39)

And it was a Gandalf, and it was way before any of the Lord of the Rings remakes.

Rizzuto (3:44)

Until the Tolkien, the Tolkien estate came after you.

Scott (3:49)

Yeah, the Tolkien estate did.

Rizzuto (3:50)

Took all that corncob candle money.

Lern (3:51)

Listen, I am in full fall mode. I had pot of soup on the other day, and then I am getting my, I got my candle inventory in my kitchen, and I go, this will not do.

And so, I will be going and getting new candles. Now, I know that Moon always talks about how the fumes are poisonous and toxic and all that.