Can Your Beliefs Actually Change How You Age? | Shawn Achor

Shawn Achor (0:00)

So, they went back into the research at Yale, and what they found was, they tried to determine why it is that some people got better, and some people declined exactly like we expected them to. And the only thing that they could find is they identified it was the beliefs they held about aging. Did they believe the growth was possible, or did they believe the decline was imminent and automatic?

SPEAKER_2 (0:26)

Welcome to the Midlife Chrysalis Podcast with Chip Conley, where we explore how midlife isn't a crisis, but a chrysalis, a time of profound transformation that can lead to the most meaningful chapter of your life.

Chip Conley (0:41)

Welcome to the Midlife Chrysalis, this is Chip Conley. Shawn Achor is pretty famous. His book, The Happiness Advantage, was a number one New York Times bestseller, and was on the list for a very long time. For a while, Shawn was giving about 100 speeches a year around the world. This is a guy who went to Harvard Divinity School and spent 12 years at Harvard, and then all of a sudden he blew up overnight. But then he made a change and decided that he was going to actually devote all of his time, not all of his time, but most of his time to his family, staying at home, no longer being on the airplane circuit, and that led him to writing a book called Big Potential. And his newest book is called The Power of Beliefs. And I've just finished reading it, and we are talking about it on this episode. This is both a geeky episode, but also a very practical one.

I'm proud of this episode because quite frankly, I think this is one of the more prescriptively helpful episodes that we've ever had on The Midlife Chrysalis. And I think you're going to enjoy the repartee that Shawn and I have. And Shawn certainly is somebody who has a lot to teach. I am hoping that we get him to teach at MEA someday. I'll see you at the end with my three key lessons.

Shawn, welcome to The Midlife Chrysalis after your lovely family vacation in Martha's Vineyard this summer. Let's start with that. Let's talk about what it's like to be a 48-year-old father and spending really quality time and as busy as you are, you go deep with the family during the summer.

Shawn Achor (2:16)

We do. So I'm probably best known for my research and positive psychology, but that's not actually how I think about myself. I think about myself as actually a pirate during the summers because it's my favorite thing I do. We, my wife and I got married in the vineyard many years ago, and then we started going for a few days each summer, and then a week, and then with the pandemic get longer. But we have kids now and I want to bring more joy and wonder magic back to their lives. So I invented this pirate named Sinji Indigobeard, who is 400 years old, who leaves clues and treasure around the island. But that's when we went for a few days, and now we go for three months during the summer. So it became this three-month-long scavenger hunt with Learning. Like this past year, these magical creatures created Brightmoor University. So basically, we got to do Hogwarts and take classes, and the kids got to teach classes, and it earned some treasures and rewards. But I probably spend two or three hours a day prepping for this, doing lesson plans. But it's my favorite thing I do by far. But you're right, it's actually hard because I take three months off to go to a place where it's hard to travel for work. So I intentionally have to say no to a lot of work during the summer to really become a pirate.

Chip Conley (3:38)

I love that so much, Shawn. You're 48 years old.

So you're solidly in midlife. What's your own personal perspective about your midlife? Then do you have a broader perspective about if there's a purpose of midlife? Because midlife sort of snuck up on us. In the 20th century, we added 30 years in the US of longevity, and so midlife became a thing and got branded the midlife crisis in the mid 1960s. But it's a very misunderstood life stage. So any point of view on your own midlife, as well as the experience of midlife?

Shawn Achor (4:13)

So it's fascinating. I mean, I have to say a lot of my identity has been formed over time by feeling like I was the youngest. I was the youngest one to do this or have the success. I was the youngest person to be a graduate student working on this project. Youngest speaker, like that was part of my brand and I had a Peter Pan complex.