Bump Bible: The Anemic Angel

Jackie Schimmel (0:00)

Everybody and their gay brother is hawking some skin care product, okay? It's basically impossible to know what actually works. And no one ever told me the actual reason skin ages. It's not just about losing collagen or skin getting drier or cell turnover. It's that your skin cells are running out of power. It starts in your 20s. Every cell in your body runs on a molecule called NAD+, which is basically your cell's battery. We lose NAD+, as we get older, which is a big part of why skin gets thinner, looser, and slower to bounce back. There Amore is a performance skin care built around replenishing NAD+, in skin cells. So it works on the root cause of skin aging rather than covering up the symptoms. It was founded by scientists from Harvard and MIT, Sexy rigorously clinically tested. In fact, they tested it across 12 metrics of skin longevity and 100% of participants saw improvement across all categories from skin radiance to lines and wrinkles. This is the first time skincare has really focused on how your skin cells perform versus just how your skin looks. And if it's one thing, your face is your base. Okay. You've heard it here first, but I have been using this for a couple of weeks. And let me tell you, I am noticing a huge difference in just the overall quality of the skin. Go to eramoreskincare.com and use code bitchbible for 20% off your first order. That's eramoreskincare, A-R-A-M-O-R-E, and go to eramoreskincare.com, code bitchbible.

A single mom that works two jobs, who loves her kids and never stops, with gentle hands and the heart of a fighter.

SPEAKER_2 (1:42)

Wow, wow, wow.

Jackie Schimmel (1:43)

That was beautiful. Thank you for that, Jackie.

I am 30 weeks pregnant. You know what that means? I'm rounding up by a week, because technically the 30 weeks is over. So if I'm like 30 weeks in two days, I'm in my 31st week. You know what I mean? Like, you don't, don't question me on it. Like we just round up a week. So I really only have, because I like now counted, not to like be just really jumping the gun here. I really only have eight weekends left, which feels very, very tangible. Like very, very doable. Eight weekends left. Have I done anything to prepare? Absolutely not. I mean, the nursery looks like a luxury Goodwill. There's just shit everywhere. And I like don't care. I haven't bought a thing. I don't give a fuck. Okay. I don't give three eights of a fuck. I'm ill-prepared and just stationally aligned with my insulin levels. I took my, I pushed it and pushed it and pushed it. My doctor called in the gestational diabetes, the glucose test, like three weeks ago. And I have been waiting till the very, very, very last few days of like 30 weeks to take it. Because I just want to live in the dark and I realize that's irresponsible and all of the things. Don't care. Okay. It's, this is about preservation. We have, this is a marathon, not a sprint. And I needed a couple extra days with my seas candy and my olive oil cakes. Because it's become a bit of a daily occurrence. And the more that I'm like, hey, we're not doing this. The more I'm like, no, we're doing this. We're absolutely doing this. This is my seas candy combo.

I have been going to seas candy at my local mall, like once a week. I don't buy in bulk because I feel like they just don't hold their freshness and it makes me feel skinnier to go in and buy like eight at a time. And I know exactly like my measurements. I do the Dark Chocolate Scotchmallows. I do the Dark Chocolate Bordeauxs. And then for like a refreshing little bit of acidity, I do the Dark Raspberry Creams, okay?

I cut them in half and I have half of each. So really like one and a half chocolates every single night on like a cute little Janori plate that Andrew brings for me, except not right now because he's in Japan.

Remember when Andrew went to Japan for a week and a half while I'm 30 weeks pregnant tending to a three-year-old? God, his timing is just truly impeccable. And I just love all the updates, you know. Oh, oh, got a text. Oh, is my Sunbrella fabric here? Hold on. Bad news, it was not my outdoor cushion fabric. The amount of decisions that I've had to make during this gestational journey is unbelievable. Like what color grout, what kind of, like how do you want to lay these tiles? Do you want it to wrap around? Do you not want it to wrap around? Where do you want to put the outlets? Where do you want to put the light switches? Do you want it to be on an app or do you want it to be hands-free? Do you want? I mean, unbelievable. I am operating with such a full deck. Men could fucking never. Here's the thing, let's bring it back to me and what's important. Now, for years and years, because I am a gestational diabetes survivor, okay, with Clyde, I took the one-hour glucose test, which everyone was like, it's the worst. Can we just talk about this really quick? You bitches, you fucking Al-Qaeda adjacent bitches, okay? Terrorists, stop scaring other women to make you feel empowered and emboldened, okay? Like stop it. I was told, I remember, it's the worst. It's the worst. You know what's the worst? Having your mom fucking die out of nowhere. That's the fucking worst. Don't talk to me about drinking a delish glucose drink. Tempt me with a good fucking time. You know what? I like the glucose drink. I don't like the forced nature of the timeline. I don't like to drink with the timeline, but it's not that big of a fucking deal. If they can serve it to you cold, it's better, okay? I went with the lemon lime this time. I thought it was less diced. I bought that fresh test thing, and then the lab that my doctor's office works with doesn't accept it.