Brothers | Snore Trek TNG S4 E3 (from the Vault #702)

**Drew Ackerman** (0:07)
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and friends beyond the binary.
It's time for the podcaster, who's never met a dog bed he didn't wish would clean itself. I don't know why that's funny because I can't see the mechanics of a self-cleaning dog bed that actually works, unless it was a sentient one. Then, no offense, dogs. Okay, I can't even say that loud because they know dogs will be bit. Well, they may. Look over there, dogs. If it was a sentient dog mat, I might just keep that as a pet. Anyway, dogs, over here. Who thinks about dog beds and dog mats and these kind of things? These are a few of my favorite things to talk about on Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.
This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. All you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever is keeping you awake, whether it's thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, time, temperature, scheduling. I mean, anything having to do with scheduling. Like if you're working a second or a third shift, or your schedule has changed, you got schedule on the brain. That wasn't in that game. What if there were, here's the thing. I didn't think I would talk about this for the intro, but there used to be a board game. It actually wasn't a board game. It was called, I can't think of a way to describe it without opportunity. But it was a physical game. Like if you combine, anyway, let me get back. I'll try to get back to that. Cause I was thinking, well, we'll get to it in a second. If you're new here, welcome. This is a podcast that goes off-topic really fast. But it's also a podcast to be here and to put you to sleep. What I'm going to try to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever's keeping you awake. Also, I think I'll repeat myself accidentally when I get flustered or mixed up. The way I'm going to do that is I'm going to send my voice across the deep dark night. I'm going to use lowing, soothing, creaky dulcet tones, rustified meanders, tangents. I'd say maybe once in a while I'll use some greasy tangents or well-greased tangents. Well-worn metaphors are so well-worn that people say those are a bit worn out, Scoots. A bit like your shoes and your sneakers and your... I'd say, yep, I like to be on the other side of well-worn because, I don't know, actually, I don't even... I just find myself on the... I think there could be an autobiography in there for Gingerbread Press. On the other side of well-worn, there you go. Does his ripped horn wrote a book about ripped horn's life? Because I could sell that title to you. My life is ripped horn. Or maybe it could be my life is a ripped horn impersonator. I don't know if there is anybody out there. But that's an option. The other side of well-worn. My life impersonating ripped horn. Maybe I could do that. Maybe that'll be my fourth or fifth act. What happened to that Sleep Podcast? Well, Scoots really went, they call it niching down, I believe. He became a ripped horn impersonator and as beloved as ripped horn is, I think his timing was a bit off. And so that's what happened to, so yeah, he's out, he may be out, he did write a book. It was an imaginary book. It was written and published within his imagination. And he was also trying to do a podcast intro, by the way. Oh, thanks for bringing me back there, Scoots. Also, by the way, I don't mean to interrupt myself with myself, but I don't think we can do a ripped horn impersonation right yet. That's why one day we will. Okay. Anyway, if you're new, welcome. This is Sleep With Me Podcast. It puts you to sleep. If you're really new, just kind of sit back and see how it goes. This podcast doesn't work for everybody. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense. So kind of maybe passively observe it, like a rambling ripped horn impersonator. Who is, with that, that's, you see, well, you, like, that would be a way, I guess this is a metaphor for the podcast, you see. Well, you're not impersonating ripped horn. And it's not, it's an impressionist, actually. My life was ripped horn impressionist, and the impersonator are two different things. And you see, okay, yeah, just kick back and wonder about that. Why, why, wonder why? I became a ripped horn, you know, why I've got that caught up in my brain cycles. So passively kind of observe the podcast, see how it goes. Doesn't work for everybody, for most people works for it takes a few tries. Here's the structural show. Starts off with some business. That's how we keep the show going. Then that's all at sleepwithmepodcast.com. Then an intro, which is around 12 to 14 to 13 to 15 minutes. Where I try to explain what the podcast is in a verbose way. I'd say with double the verbosity. Half the vocabulary, double the verbosity.