Body Language Expert: 6 Psychological Tricks to Turn Awkwardness into Confidence

Mel Robbins (0:00)

Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to The Mel Robbins Podcast.

Oh my gosh, you are going to love this episode today, because today you're going to learn how to use body language and six psychological tricks that can help you turn awkwardness, shyness, self-doubt, insecurity into confidence. And you will love our expert today because she is a behavioral researcher. She teaches at Harvard University's Professional and Executive Development Program. She's a New York Times bestselling author and she spent two decades sharing what you're about to learn today. Her research proves that your body is communicating something before you ever say a word. And when you understand how to use your body to communicate the right things, everything changes.

Today, you're going to learn simple body language cues that will help you communicate more confidence immediately. For example, exactly where you need to stand when you walk in a room and you don't know anyone, what to do with your hands when you're speaking, how to carry yourself before a meeting, a date, a presentation, or an important conversation. After today, you're going to know the six psychological tricks that you can use so you can start building real confidence, communicate with more power, and show up like the person you want to be.

I am so fired up for the conversation today because you're going to learn six psychological tricks that turn awkwardness, insecurity, self-doubt into confidence, and you're going to learn it from a world-renowned expert in body language. Here's a fun fact about our expert. Her name is Vanessa Van Edwards, and she was one of the very first guests I had on The Mel Robbins Podcast four years ago, and listeners around the world loved it. They're still listening to this episode, which is why I wanted to share this conversation with you, where she's teaching you six psychological tricks that create instant confidence. Here's the reason why I wanted to share this conversation again.

I have been flooded recently with questions from your fellow listeners around the world. Questions about struggling with confidence. You're trying to get a job. You want to be more effective. You want to put yourself out there. How do I carry myself when I don't even feel comfortable walking up to a circle of people? Well, today we're going to change that. You're going to learn how to walk into a room, meet new people, speak up at work, go after what you want without second guessing yourself. Doesn't that sound great? Of course, it sounds great. That's why I want to introduce you to one of the most respected experts on body language and confidence, Vanessa Van Edwards. She's a behavioral researcher, bestselling author. She teaches at Harvard University's Professional and Executive Development Program. She's also the founder of Science of People, a behavior lab that studies high achievers and the science of confidence, charisma, communication, and body language. Today, she's here for you. Let's jump in to the moment when Vanessa Van Edwards first walked in to our Boston studios.

Vanessa Van Edwards (3:14)

I'm so happy to be back.

Mel Robbins (3:16)

Thanks for having me. I am so excited to see you. And I guess where I want to start before we jump in to all of the tools and the research. I mean, you just bring it every time I talk to you.

So why does it matter to either know high achievers or to be one? Like how does being a high achiever, other than the obvious, you're achieving your goals. But why does it matter?

Vanessa Van Edwards (3:38)

I think that what's really crucial is that I've spent a career studying these high achievers, and I've noticed that they have very specific behavior patterns and communication patterns. And what they do is they take what I call communication shortcuts.

So they are able to say no more easily to difficult people. That is something that I think everyone wants. They are more easily able to achieve their goals and enjoy the process. So many people, they achieve their goals and have no happiness, no satisfaction, no joy in achieving those goals. High performers, they enjoy the means and the ends. So there's the enjoyment, there's saying no to difficult people easily. And it's also, I think that from my perspective, high achievers very clearly are able to know who they are and they're able to share it. And so my goal today is to help people achieve those three things.

Mel Robbins (4:27)

I love that. You know, the person that is listening to this conversation right now is somebody who is driven, they are curious, they're looking for ways to improve their life, they want the best for their family and their friends, they want to achieve their goals.