Bob O. AA Male Disk 3

**SPEAKER_1** (0:01)
And here's my experience with that.
My second step experience actually was when I was sober about 90 days, and I had fought the idea of coming to believe in anything. And my sponsor back then, this guy named Leo, said, why are you sober? And I said, it's because I'm a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. And he said, horse shit. You've been a member of Alcoholics Anonymous for the last six years, and you never got sober. What's different? And I said, well, I don't know. And he said, well, are you eating differently? And I said, no. And he said, are you exercising? And I said, no. And he said, are you going to work every day? And I said, no. And he said, well, something's different, because this is the first time in 15 years that you haven't been drinking every day. And I said, well, I don't know. And he said, well, what can be different? And I said, quit asking. I already told you, I don't know. And, you know, let's get it over with. And he said, are you praying? And I said, yeah. And he said, why are you doing that? And I said, because you told me to. And he said, can you think anything else? And I said, no.
Oh, sorry. You want me to talk louder? I'll blow these people in the front seats right out of their seat.
He said, what's the difference? And I said, well, okay, so I'm praying. And he said, would you concede that you're... He said, do you believe in God? And I said, no. And he said, would you believe that you're... That's a lie. See, I really thought there probably was something, but I just didn't want to agree to it. And he said, would you concede that you're sober today by the grace of a God you don't even believe in? That's a good question. You know, the only difference in my life was that I started praying. You don't have to believe. The book says, you don't have to... Let me rephrase that. You don't have to believe much.
You know, there's a lot of groups in Alcoholics Anonymous that are called mustard seed. Do you know why? Mustard seeds are tiny. And that small grain of faith is enough to start. So, it's the people who have the belligerent denial, they go, I'm not going to believe in God. And, you know, that priest told me where that was going to go.
So, all you have to do is just open your mind, just a hair, and things will start.
It says, if you're even willing to believe upon this simple cornerstone, a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built. And that's the cornerstone, is the will, or that, actually there's another comment in there about cornerstones. But the basis for that is just a willingness to believe. I don't have to know what God is, I don't have to know what he looks like. Let me say something about that.
Well, certainly you've been blessed.
Boy, you know, I've got a mind like a piece of Swiss cheese. You know, and sometimes things just fall in a hole, and they never, ever come out again. It's just, so, it has to, are you even willing to believe?
The book in the second step talks about two different kinds of people. It talks about people with the bedevilments. Are you all familiar with the bedevilments? It's about, it can't seem to be of real help to other people, prey to misery and depression, all that stuff. Well, it talks about those people, and then it talks about people with power, peace, happiness, and a sense of direction. Now, that's all I ever wanted. I mean, if I have power, peace, happiness, and a sense of direction, I will live a happy life. And you can say, well, what about money and love and all that stuff? All that comes as a result of that.
The difference between those two groups of people, the book says, is that the people with power, peace, happiness, and a sense of direction, they have God as the central fact in their lives. So, today, when I start seeing myself engaged in the bedevilments, when I start seeing two or three of those things going on in my life, I have to ask myself a question. And the question is, what am I worshiping?
You know, the book talks about us being distracted by pomp, by ceremony, and by the worship of other things. What are the other things? I can tell you what they are. They're money, sex, and power. Those are the big three. And so, if I start worshiping money, sex, or power, and I'm no longer worshiping God, then those bedevilments show up in my life. And what will happen is that I have to go back and revisit my second step, and I have to make God the central fact in my life again, and then I stop worshiping that stuff.