Bill D. AA Male

**Bill D.** (0:00)
I'm a drunk, my name is Bill D.
I want to thank the committee for inviting me here to speak, to share with you tonight. I'd also like to thank them for making this room so much like my old home group used to be in New Jersey. We had a very small room with no cross ventilation, and it was a smoking meeting. And one night, I happened to be the first one out of the room, and I opened the door, and three Indians answered back.
There was one thing I didn't tell the committee when I accepted the assignment. And so I'd better warn you that the one thing I get criticized about the most is being too enthusiastic about this program. People say you act like you're trying to sell something, you know. And one guy came up to me and said, that was the most beautiful sermon I ever heard. I could have killed him.
But I do. I'm a little like the Catholic priest who was assigned to a post that nobody wanted. They had this rundown parish in the ghetto, and they had this young enthusiastic priest, so they sent him in there. They were going to close it down anyway, and they figured we'll see how long he lasts. And sure enough, two months later, he was asking to see the bishop, and the bishop figured he'd had it. And when the young priest came in, the bishop said, well, father, how do you like that parish we sent you to? And the young priest said, oh, your grace. He said, it's wonderful. I love it. I love everything about it. I'm having a wonderful time down there. There's just one thing that's bothering me, and that is the young people are not attending the church. And I was here to ask your permission to take out some of the front pews and install bucket seats so we could get the young people to come. The bishop looked at him and said, well, all right, father, you go ahead, don't expect too much, but go ahead, try it if you want to. Two months later, the young priest is back, and the bishop figured, well, I guess those didn't work. And he asked him, well, how's everything going, father? And the priest said, well, your grace, it's wonderful. He said, I want to thank you for letting me put in the bucket seats because the young people are now attending church. In fact, we've got a very good congregation. It's going very well. But one thing still bothers me, these young people are not practicing their religion. And I was here to ask your permission to install a drive-in confessional.
The bishop, he shook his head, but he said, all right, father. He said, as long as you don't go over your budget, go ahead, install it. Two months later, the young priest is back. He has been summoned by the bishop. And as he walks in, the bishop said, father, first of all, we want to tell you how delighted we are at the wonderful job you've done in that parish. We've just about given up on it. He said, you've got a going concern down there. You've got a church that's full and lively, and it's a community church, and it's doing beautifully. He said, you've worked miracles there. I don't know how you did it. He said, I thought your ideas were pretty far out. He said, those bucket seats you put in, you can keep them. That's all right. He said, that drive-in confessional, I thought that idea was too much, but you can keep that, too. It's just one thing. That neon sign you put over it, the one that reads, toot and tell her go to hell, that's gotta go.
Well, I'd like to tell you a few of the reasons why I'm so enthusiastic about this program. I go back to the day that I got out of the alcoholic ward of Knickerbocker Hospital. And while I was spending five days in that ward being detoxified, they called it ride out in those days, I had had the principle of honesty drummed into me pretty well. At least that's the one thing I had grabbed onto. So as soon as I got in the car with my sponsor, I told him, look, Tom, I said, I know I can't make 90 days. In New Jersey, we had a different system. We didn't have the chip system. But after 90 days of sobriety, they give you a little triangular bronze pin with a G on the top, an AA on the bottom, and a little dot in the middle which stood for you. I said, I can't get the pin, but I'm going to give this my best try and do the best I can. Well, in an easy does it, live and let live sort of way, he came down on me like a ton of bricks. And he explained, we don't stay sober for 90 days. We don't stay sober for nine days. We do this one day at a time. And he spent the next hour and a half, which it took us to get to my home in North Brunswick, drilling this into my rumdum scalp. And when we got to my house, I opened the front door, and we lived in a salt box. And when you open the front door, you were in the living room. There was no entryway or anything. I'm in the living room, and there's my wife sitting on a sofa facing the front door. And the first thing I heard was, I want you to understand one thing. And I froze. I knew she was wound up to say something. So I better later say it. And the next thing she said was, if you ever take another drink. And she went on to outline what was going to happen. That was the end of the marriage. She was leaving me forever. There was no possibility of any reconciliation. I don't remember the whole thing. But that was the general tenor of it. And when she got all through and was finished, I gave her my sweetest smile. And I got, I was honest. I said, honey, I'm sorry. I can't promise you that. All I can promise you is, I'm not going to take a drink today. It was then 6.3 in the evening. We had spent $85 that I had to go out and borrow for me to go through Knickerbocker. And if looks could have killed, I would not be your speaker tonight.