(BEST OF) How to Really Believe Your Body is Good: Carson Tueller

Glennon Doyle (0:00)

Welcome back to We Can Do Hard Things. Today, we are bringing back a conversation about what happens when we stop letting everyone and everything tell us what is wrong with us. Because the world is constantly handing us stories about our bodies. Telling us that our bodies are too big, too old, too sick, too different, too feminine, too masculine, too, too, too, too, that they need to be fixed or controlled or overcome before our real lives can begin. And usually, that message comes with something we could buy to fix whatever problem we've been handed. Carson Tueller knows what it takes to refuse those stories and write a different one. At 23, an accident left Carson paralyzed from the chest down, and what he eventually discovered was that so much of his suffering wasn't coming from his body at all.

Carson said, I know that the capital S self, myself, will never tell me that I'm broken.

That is always a message from something outside of me. I needed to hear that clarification. Because what if every time we hear that voice telling us our body is wrong, we stop assuming it's true and start asking, huh, who taught me that? And what do they get out of me believing it? This conversation is about disability and ableism, but it is really about body freedom. It's about all of us and it's for all of us. It's about sex and pleasure and grief and queerness and learning to trust the deepest voice inside you. It's about refusing to postpone your life until your body becomes something else. If you have ever felt at war with the body carrying you through this life, the precious perfect body carrying you through this life, this one is for you. I give you our conversation with Carson Tueller.

Well, hello. Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things. Here's the thing that's important to us about this pod, that you may have picked up. I'm sure you did. So we didn't introduce you to a loke several episodes ago so that you could learn to be an ally to trans or non-binary folks. We introduced you to a loke, because since a loke has done the work to free themselves from the gender binary, a loke can teach us how to free ourselves from the cage of the gender binary that every single one of us is in. In that vein, what does in that vein mean?

Who knows? In that vein, we are introducing you to Carson Tueller today. We are not introducing Carson, so we can learn how to be allies to disabled and or queer people. Not just for that, okay?

We are introducing Carson to the Pod Squad, because since Carson has done the work to know in his soul that his body is complete and whole exactly the way it is, he is able to share that good news of body freedom with all of us, with every last one of us, who are caged by the lie that our bodies are not good enough. As Carson says, talking about disability is talking about the nature of human bodies, so it includes everyone.

Carson Tueller (3:26)

Yay!

Amanda Doyle (3:30)

Okay, Carson Tueller is a coach, speaker, and activist whose work provides people with the tools they need to live authentic, fulfilling, and powerful lives. He identifies as queer and disabled. Carson grew up as a Mormon in a military family moving around a lot before settling in Utah. His own journey into powerful living began in 2013 when in the same year, he came out and then was injured in an accident that paralyzed him from the chest down.

Since then, Carson has brought his work to international nonprofits and presidential campaigns. When he isn't coaching or speaking, Carson can be found at the gym, reading nonfiction, or playing Pokemon with his niece and nephews. First of all, it's July. Happy Disability Pride Month, Carson.

Yes, thank you.

Carson Tueller (4:22)

Isn't that so exciting that that's a thing?

Abby Wambach (4:24)

Yeah, it's terribly exciting.

Amanda Doyle (4:27)

It's terribly exciting and important.

Carson Tueller (4:29)

Can I just preface by saying how grateful I am to be here, and to also I need to clear that like maybe I'm going to just be emotional a lot through this. I was like prepping and I was already just like, just like moved by what Glennon said at the top, right? This is about freedom.

Abby Wambach (4:50)

Yeah.

Carson Tueller (4:51)

It's freedom. It's like freedom to be with one's actual self.

And so when I was like prepping, you know, I go back to places in my past where that wasn't available and how much suffering was there. And so I'm just like really in the presence of that. And I just want to say that before I start. So thanks for letting me just be me with you.