Be Authentic

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

When you want your spring break to feel like... And your kids' pool day to feel like...

And your hotel bed to feel like... Ooh, and room service to feel like... Because at Hilton, hospitality feels like...

Miist (0:19)

Your cabana's ready.

SPEAKER_1 (0:20)

Would you like fresh towels? It matters where you stay. Book now at hilton.com. Hilton. For this day.

Miist (0:30)

You said you were over him, but his hoodie is stilling your rotation.

SPEAKER_1 (0:34)

It's time. Grab your phone, snap a few pics and sell it on Depop, listed in minutes, with no selling fees. And just like that, a guy 500 miles away just paid full price for your closure.

Miist (0:46)

And right on cue...

SPEAKER_1 (0:47)

Hey, still got my hoodie? Nope. But I've got tonight's dinner paid for. Start selling on Depop, where taste recognizes taste. List now with no selling fees, payment processing fees and boosting fees still apply.

Miist (0:59)

See website for details.

SPEAKER_1 (1:00)

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Miist (1:27)

Go to your happy price, Priceline.

For the next few minutes, let's take a break from the craziness of our world. Let's make this place, this moment, a refuge where we feel safe to laugh, smile, listen to great music, and learn. Let's come together to discover forgotten simple ways to change our world in 15 seconds or less a day. And in doing so, remind each other of what it means to be human. Welcome to Make Me Smile. I'm Miist, your host. I'm a singer-songwriter and not a health professional. But like you, I want to be a part of something bigger and better. Let's build a family and a vision of the future that looks happier, more fulfilling, and more meaningful. Let's learn to smile again.

This is my 48th episode of Make Me Smile. It has truly been a privilege and blessing for me to have gone on this meandering journey with you over the past year. I have learned and grown and become a better person through all these topics, and I hope you have too. With so many topics that I've talked about this year, I felt the need to come to a single clear call to action, one that will anchor us, that we can all grasp and hold on to during these difficult times. So that is my goal today, to provide a clear light to guide us through every moment of our lives. This year, we have discussed everything from the need to be creative to the danger of regret. But every single topic and every single 15-second call to action has something in common. None of them will work if we are not our authentic selves. I know that statement raises the question, what does that mean? Of course I am who I am. A few years ago, I would have said the same thing. I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted or needed, but that person and the person that is speaking to you today are very different. They have many things in common, but crucially, they have major things that are not. Three to four years ago, I would have told you that I wanted to be happy, but almost everything I was doing was taking me in the opposite direction. I didn't acknowledge my strengths or my weaknesses, and the person I put on in front of everyone, that perfect, always helpful, never sad persona was not authentic. I was not perfect. I struggled greatly. I said yes to the things I should not have. As I was exhausted, and even though I was not always happy, I would have told you that I was. I know I am not alone in that deception. Today, I look back at myself of a few years ago, and I'm in wonderment.

My marriage is secure and completely honest and truthful. I feel like I know and love myself for the first time in my life. It has not been an easy journey, but strangely I'm glad it wasn't, as I now understand so much more than I did before. I found it terrifying to let go of that old persona. I was afraid of what I might become, and I was afraid how my friends would react when they saw me change. But in the end, can you have a true friend if they don't accept you for who you really are? I needed to accept that, and I have lost so-called friends because they couldn't accept those changes. I didn't do that intentionally, and I often mourn their loss, but I have to remind myself that they didn't know who I really was, and they liked the pretend person that was perfect and agreed with them all the time. That is not only an unreasonable expectation, it is also not true friendship. And in the end, I want true friends, true connections with whom I can be myself, ones that not only accept me but like me as I am. This can be a lonely journey as you transition and leave those friends behind, but it is a necessary one to be truly happy. I want to be clear that I'm not talking about holding onto harmful habits and destructive actions like drugs, abuse of alcohol or being selfish and hedonistic. I'm referring to the right to be loved for who we are with all of our flaws and strengths.