Avoidant Attachment 101 artwork

Avoidant Attachment 101

Call Her Daddy

August 23, 2026

This week, Alex continues breaking down attachment styles and dives into avoidant attachment. She discusses why getting close can feel so uncomfortable, the instinct to shut down or pull away, and why you might suddenly get the “ick” when things get serious.
Speakers: Alex Cooper

Topics: Comedy

**Alex Cooper** (0:00)
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I could forget my dogs. I forget my husband, but I will never forget Hidden Valley, okay? Grab a bottle of Hidden Valley Ranch with avocado oil today. Now available at walmart.com. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to another gorgeous, beautiful Sunday session of Her Daddy. So last Sunday session, I decided to open up the conversation around attachment styles. And I basically focused the entire conversation on anxious attachment. Again, for anyone who didn't watch that episode or needs a quick refresher, at its core, an attachment style is your subconscious blueprint for how you behave, communicate and react in close relationships. It's how your brain reacts to intimacy and threat. And there are four attachment styles. There's secure attachment, anxious, avoidant, and fearful slash disorganized. If you think you may have anxious attachment, I talked about this the other week, and that episode is definitely for you. So if you missed it, you should go watch that. But this episode may also be for you, okay? Because the reality is, if you have anxious attachment, you quite often are most attracted to someone who has avoidant attachment. You two just, you can't seem to stay away from each other, even though you probably should. Today, we are going to start off by discussing avoidant attachment. We have gotten to avoidant, we hit anxious, and now we're about to cruise into a new lane. So, avoidant attachment. If you are currently dating someone who acts like expressing an emotion is similar to a physical threat, or if you are the person who suddenly gets the itch and runs away the second someone buys you flowers, this is your wake up call, okay? We are gonna dissect exactly what avoidant attachment is. The silent emotional toll it can take on you and how it can completely can ruin, essentially, your relationships and significantly have a lasting impact on your self esteem. Buckle up, baby. So let's start with, let's define this. Avoidant attachment is a subconscious defense mechanism where your brain equates intimacy with danger, okay? If you have avoidant attachment, your core belief is, if I rely on you, you will eventually let me down, you will suffocate me or you will control me. And therefore, I must rely solely on myself to survive. So in dating, you're the ultimate escape artist, okay? You want love because you're obviously a human being, that's natural. But the second that you start to actually get it, your literal alarm system goes off in your body. And psychologists call this deactivating strategies, okay? These are basically the subconscious tricks your brain plays to force distance between you and the person you are dating or the person that you are getting close to.

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