Autism is the New Stolen Valor - Trevor Wallace - #1048

**Trevor Wallace** (0:00)
That's really, how do I, how do I look? Cool, silence. All right. Does anybody, you have 19 people on set, and everyone's like, I don't want to tell them, it looks like shit.

**Chris Williamson** (0:10)
And it's fine, it's just boogers.

**Trevor Wallace** (0:12)
Yeah, see, there we go.

**Chris Williamson** (0:15)
Look at this. Yes, dude.

**Trevor Wallace** (0:19)
Is that better?

**Chris Williamson** (0:19)
See, now this is the problem. Now that you've asked for feedback, all that you've got is like, neuroticism is judgment.

**Trevor Wallace** (0:25)
Okay, yeah, and can you write some better jokes? I'll put them on my outfit.

**Chris Williamson** (0:28)
Trevor Wallace, welcome to the show.

**Trevor Wallace** (0:29)
Hey, thanks for having me, Chris.

**Chris Williamson** (0:31)
Vogue published an article saying, having a boyfriend is embarrassing now. I don't have one. I figured. Meanwhile, men are on dating apps saying that they're looking for a slightly autistic woman. Swaps of men saying they want a girl with a touch of the tism.

**Trevor Wallace** (0:47)
Okay, I just want the touch. I don't even care about the tism. You know what I mean? Whatever they bring to the table. Well, you know what it is? Autistic women, from my experience, they're just passionate.
That's all I've ever wanted, dating somebody who's passionate about something, whether it's a career or trains. Whatever you're passionate on, I'm passionate for you.

**Chris Williamson** (1:14)
Well, you were saying that about hot girls that are just good at anything. Chess or DJing or crochet stitching or something. That that is a niche. Yeah. I think you're right as well. I think we like anybody that really loves...

**Trevor Wallace** (1:31)
I just want you to love something. I don't care what your career is, just love it.

**Chris Williamson** (1:35)
Can that be you? Can this something be you? What if you are their hobby?

**Trevor Wallace** (1:39)
A part of it, sure. A part of it, sure. But I've been in relationships where somebody didn't have that void they wanted to fill of love. And you almost feel guilty if you're too passionate. I would come home from a show or filming something, and I had so much fun on this set or filming. And I love it. And then they're like, oh, that's nice. And you're like, here we go again. I mean, can we get her a Zen or something? Like, perk up, Charlie, what are we... So you almost feel guilty. So I just want to come home and share a communal experience where you're like, how was your day? Oh, I loved that I got to do blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I love that I get to do this. So I've found that just incredible where you can just both share and not feel this like weird one-sided guilt.

**Chris Williamson** (2:18)
That I'm doing a thing and you don't have a thing to do.

**Trevor Wallace** (2:22)
Yeah, or a thing to do, but they hate it. It's like so many people hate their job, which is totally fine. Like so many jobs suck, but it kind of puts a dampening on the mood. If like I'm happy with what I'm doing and then they're like, oh, that's cool. Well, my day, oh God.

**Chris Williamson** (2:42)
I wonder whether that's most people. That it's kind of tough because not everyone has the luxury of being able to do a job that they love, but pretty much everybody does have the luxury of being able to get a hobby or an interest or a passion that they love.

**Trevor Wallace** (2:55)
That's the other side of it. So many people hate their job. I have plenty of jobs that I hate it. I used to work in a kiosk inside of a Costco. I wanted to unalive myself every day, but the chicken, apple, sausages, samples saved me every single day, okay? So I've had those jobs where I hate it, but when I was at that job, I would write stand up and that would make me get through the day. That would excite me. So I would just find those things that would excite me through it. So back to autism. I think whatever your passion is, just be passionate about it. I've dated people who have worked in their own, they make their own clothes or their own thing, and I'm so happy for that. And when they show me a t-shirt or something where they stitch the pocket on it and the pocket a denim shirt, is it gonna sell? No, but she loves it. And that's what I love.

**Chris Williamson** (3:41)
Yeah, some of the feedback on the autistic dating thing. It's possible that some of these men are autistic themselves and merely looking for a like-minded partner, but it's more likely that swaths of them are fetishizing neurodivergence. Autistic sex educator, Millie Evans.