Author Wendy Behary on Narcissism and High Performance

Wendy Behary (0:00)

It's one thing to be proud, and we all like to be liked, and we like to feel admired and appreciated for our work, for our service, for our contributions. It's another thing to need that so much in order to feel like you matter.

Michael Gervais (0:14)

All right, welcome back, or welcome to the Finding Mastery Podcast.

And the idea behind these conversations is to learn from people who are on the path of mastery to better understand what they're searching for, to understand the insights that they've come to understand. And then we also want to work to see if we can explore their psychological framework, which is how they see the world, how they see themselves in it, how they understand their craft and people in it. And then we also want to explore the mental skills that they've used to build and refine their craft. Finding Mastery is brought to you by Bubbs Naturals. Like many of you, I'm mindful about what I put in my body. For me, it usually comes down to ingredients and simplicity. The shorter the list, the better. And if I have to look it up, I'm usually out. That's why I've been loving Bubbs Naturals. Bubbs creates products with high quality, all natural ingredients designed to help people get after their adventures in life. I've been a huge fan of their hydrate or dye electrolyte mix for years now. It only has six total ingredients, but it's packed with five times the electrolytes as conventional sports drinks, with none of the added sugars, artificial flavors, sweeteners or preservatives. It's great for post-workout recovery, outdoor adventures and staying hydrated during long periods of travel, which I've done a lot of lately, and Bubbs is a go-to for me. Plus, all Bubbs products are 100% NSF for sport certified, which means they pass the most rigorous quality standards. They're currently in just about every MLB locker room, working closely with the Red Sox, Yankees, Rangers, Cardinals, Diamondbacks, and more, of course. I'd love for you to go and check them out. Just head to bubsnaturals.com and enter the code Finding Mastery at checkout for 20% off your first purchase. Okay, that's bubs, B-U-B-S, naturals, N-A-T-U-R-A-L-S ,.com, and use the code Finding Mastery for 20% off your first purchase. Again, that's bubs, B-U-B-S, naturals ,.com, and use the code Finding Mastery for 20% off your first purchase.

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Wendy is a founding fellow and a consulting supervisor for the Academy of Cognitive Therapy, and this is the Aaron Beck Institute.

Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live and deal with them on a regular basis. She's the author of Disarming the Narcissist, Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed. It's a phenomenal title, and it's been translated in over 10 languages. So obviously this idea of narcissism is important for people to pay attention to. And narcissism and world-class achievement, they have an interesting relationship.

And when we think of those who excel on the world stage, it's really easy to conjure up a story that they have a rich and deep inner belief that they can be the absolute best in the world. And that's actually not the case as we've come to learn from many of the folks on the Finding Mastery Podcast, is that they don't have that complete self-absorbed way of believing that they are the only or the absolute best in their craft. As a matter of fact, most folks that we've spoken to have revealed a deep sense of humility.