Topics: Stand-Up, Comedy, TV & Film
**Amy Schumer** (0:06)
They did do one study on women, you may have read about this. They found that social media is harmful to young girls. Thank you, NASA. We know, right? I mean, just since we've been in town, I saw this group of girls, they must have been 12 years old. These little girls are taking selfies, you know, and they knew their angles. You know what I'm saying? Maybe some people don't know, like, like, your angles. Okay, just, like, see how my leg looks if you look straight on? Get a shot of this, Tom. Look at that. Disgusting. What is that? Gollum? That's heinous. Now watch this. Bam! Whoa! Everyone's hard.
They knew their good side, these little 12-year-old girls. They see so many pictures of themselves. Like, I'm 41 I know my angles, okay? At this point, the photographer gets in a tree, and I dig a deep trench. I kind of get down there, just, you know, that's me.
That's where I shine, you know. 12 years old. Remember when we were 12? Somebody took a picture of us once a year. Right? Maybe twice, if we had a school dance, right? Somebody's dad had a camera. It was like, whoa, I didn't know Lindsay was rich. Her dad has a whole camera. We didn't know our angles. They'd say cheese, and we'd all just kind of, eh, look like we were shitting ourselves. Because we were, because all we ate was dairy. Right? We didn't have oat milk or almond milk or arrojuan. We had whole milk, and we drank it with every meal. You'd have a grilled cheese sandwich with a cup of milk.
Our skin was bad, we were farting all over the place. It was disgusting.
But we were happy, goddammit.
Watch Amy Schumer, Emergency Contact, only on Netflix.
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