Am I The Ally? | Reading Reddit Stories

**Shayne Topp** (0:00)
Hello, and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shayne, and today is our annual pride episode.

**Jared Goldstein** (0:06)
Yeah.

**Shayne Topp** (0:07)
It's a party. And I'm joined by two lovely people. I'm joined by Chance.
And a good friend of Smosh, Jared Goldstein, is here. Hello!

**Jared Goldstein** (0:21)
Why did you guys ask me to do this one?

**Shayne Topp** (0:24)
What? It's just we thought that you would enjoy the episode.

**Jared Goldstein** (0:31)
Oh, sure, yeah.

**Shayne Topp** (0:31)
We thought you'd be a fan of that. You just thought, you know.
Jared, this is technically the second Red Stories that we've done together.

**Jared Goldstein** (0:40)
Yes.

**Shayne Topp** (0:41)
When this is airing.

**Jared Goldstein** (0:43)
Yeah.

**Shayne Topp** (0:44)
But tomorrow, as of recording this, we're going to be doing Reddit Live.

**Jared Goldstein** (0:48)
Yes, we are.

**Shayne Topp** (0:49)
So we'll see how that goes. But by the time this airs, we'll have known that they went great. And the audience loved it.

**Jared Goldstein** (0:58)
Yes, yes. And all those prize giveaways.

**Shayne Topp** (1:01)
Yes. All the cars that we drive into the audience.

**Jared Goldstein** (1:07)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

**Shayne Topp** (1:08)
They're going to love it. Anyways, is this our fourth Pride episode?

**Jared Goldstein** (1:12)
Wow.

**Shayne Topp** (1:13)
We've been doing this show forever.

**Jared Goldstein** (1:14)
That's a long time to be doing Pride.

**Shayne Topp** (1:20)
I feel like these have become the big episode of the year, I feel like. I don't know. There's a lot of gays on Reddit.
Guess so.

**Jared Goldstein** (1:28)
We're everywhere now.

**Shayne Topp** (1:30)
Yeah, yeah. But we always were.
Always were, but mainly on Reddit. Jared, how familiar with Reddit are you?

**Jared Goldstein** (1:38)
I'm pretty familiar with Reddit. I use it mostly to look at purses.

**Shayne Topp** (1:44)
Oh, very specific.

**Jared Goldstein** (1:45)
Yeah, that's kind of my main use for Reddit right now.

**Shayne Topp** (1:48)
Well, very cool. Well, we're gonna be diving into all sorts of parts of Reddit, but all of it having to do with pride of some sort. I've been informed that some of these stories are your typical Reddit stories.
Just might have a couple who's gay in it.

**Jared Goldstein** (2:02)
Oh.

**Shayne Topp** (2:03)
So I hope there's some straight pride in here too.
The worst prank we ever pull, we do a pride episode and they're all just straight. We just don't acknowledge it. Yes. Just like anyways, so. All right. Let's hop into our first story here. Our first story comes from Today I Fucked Up and it was posted in September of 2020 And they write, Today I fucked up by having sex with the father of a woman I dated at a later date.

**Jared Goldstein** (2:31)
Whoa.

**Shayne Topp** (2:33)
Damn.

**Jared Goldstein** (2:34)
That's like us with this second recording coming before this.

**Shayne Topp** (2:37)
Before the live show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very similar.
They write, okay, so yeah, it's messed up. This happened years ago. A few years ago, I met a bisexual dude who was around 25 years older than me. I was 23 at the time. We met through an app similar to Grindr. We meet up, hook up, and that's the end of it. Never met again. Around two weeks or so later, I started dating this 20-year-old girl. Things are going okay and about three weeks into the relationship, we are walking through a park when she stops me and tells me that her dad is there, and I should meet him. It's a bit soon, sure, but it's not formal or anything, so I agree.
Lo and behold, her daddy is the dude that was calling me daddy a few weeks back. We both freeze and stare at each other in absolute horror, not knowing what to say. We awkwardly shake hands and the girl attributes it to nervousness. Two weeks go by and one day she calls me to meet up. When I get there, she is absolutely fuming, like I can literally see smoke coming out of her ears. She goes off on me about how I could possibly do this to her. I obviously have zero clue what she's on about. She tells me that her dad came clean to her and her mom about being bisexual and told his daughter, my girlfriend, to break up with me so he can be with me. Whoa. Apparently, it was my fault because I was the one that turned him gay.
So she throws a plastic container at me and storms off. Never heard from any of them again.

**Jared Goldstein** (4:03)