A2G453 - "Poo"

SPEAKER_1 (0:00)

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Patrick (1:26)

Welcome to Axe To Grind, THEE Hardcore Podcast. I'm Patrick.

Bob (1:32)

I'm Bob.

Patrick (1:33)

And I'm Tom. Gentlemen, you don't currently have cats.

There's a certain sort of PTSD to being a room away and hearing a cat go through the litter, you know, like scraped, like a claw. Because this is going to be a...

The one cat in this house has human-sized poos. And if I don't act... Truly, human-sized poos. I would say definitely anybody under 14 is taking at least... is taking this size poo. And you and I have taken poos this size in this calendar year.

Bob (2:17)

You have to stop saying poo. You have to stop saying poo.

Patrick (2:21)

It's a big old poo. And I am now... I'm a room away. I just heard the cat scratching in the litter box.

And I just know that when I step out there, because if I don't act quickly, that this is going to be a smelly giant poo. And I know people have made this joke before, but these are filthy animals. It requires that there's poo in your home, right? Like I'm like a guy who like rushes to clean this up, but for the podcast, I'm going to sit on my hands and I'm not going to act. I'm going to allow this poo to just marinate in the next room.

Tom (2:57)

The amount of time that it took to tell that story, you could have put the poo in the loo.

SPEAKER_7 (3:01)

I would not leave the room.

Bob (3:05)

He won't leave the podcast.

Patrick (3:09)

I'm committed to this.

Bob (3:11)

If you or someone you know has to leave the room to clean up cat poo, please do so. We can vamp. We'll fill some space for you because I just can't. Look, I got to be honest. I'm no fan of cats. I think they're fine.

I can't own one. I'll never own one. Yeah, I'm allergic.

Yeah. I think the way everyone's allergic to cats, then you have to condition yourself to it, but I don't want to ever get conditioned. So sorry to my friends who own cats. I love your cats. They're beautiful, wonderful animals. Please don't ever make me clean up their poo. It's awful. That's awful.

Patrick (3:53)

Why don't you fill this vamp for a second?

Bob (3:56)

We'll do it. Tom, we have some ad reads to do. I think you and I can handle it. Let's get to it. You have to come up with the clever noise you say between the bands. I don't know what our theme will be.

I want to say thank you to our sponsors. Run For Cover Records.

SPEAKER_7 (4:13)

Do do do do do do.

Bob (4:15)

Nice. I want to say thank you to Closed Casket Activities.

Good one. Throwback. I want to say thank you to Convulse Records.

Tom (4:30)

I want to say, why am I giving them sad trombone? They don't deserve to say a trombone.

Bob (4:35)

Let's do triumphant trombone.

I don't need that. There we go. And thank you to To Live a Lie.

Nice. Let's start with To Live a Lie. tolivealie.com. There is a new web store. You will love it. And I'm going to give you three quick hits that you must do. These are the must-buys from the To Live a Lie web store. First is the Sex Prisoner Cautionary Tale LP. Second press is finally in. The first press went flying. Super fast, super fast. Everybody needed it.