A Wanderer In The Spirit Lands

Jason Carpenter (0:01)

People say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but what happens if you have extra evil intentions? Does that mean you get to hell even faster? Probably. I think that's kind of the point of hell. And then we take a look at the story of a young man who has an unusual haunting in his house. Is it possible that his home is haunted not just by any phantom, but one who loves and misses doing the dishes? Today on Dead Rabbit Radio.

Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Dead Rabbit Radio. I'm your host, Jason Carpenter. I'm having a great day. You guys are having a great day, too. You guys are having tons of fun doing whatever you're doing. I'm not actually having the best day. I'm getting out my medicine. I have to take my daily dose of medicine. I haven't taken it on time. My back is still pretty sore. Jason, why don't you just take the medicine before or after the podcast? Well, I just woke up and I'm running late and I got to take my medicine. I got to take my daily Viagra. That was the pill bottle I was just opening up. But someone who doesn't need Viagra, someone whose love for life always keeps her rock hard running into Dead Rabbit Radio Command, everyone get on your feet and give it up for Kelly Can't Get Right.

Running on into Dead Rabbit Radio Command. Kelly Can't Get Right made a donation during our Dead Rabbit Radio live stream special. That was our eighth anniversary live stream special. That is why she is going to be our captain, our pilot this episode. You guys can't support the show financially through the Patreon or the merch store. It's totally fine. It really is. Just helps to read the word about Dead Rabbit Radio. That helps out so much. Tell your friends, tell your family, tell everyone you know. Dead Rabbit Radio is your favorite paranormal show. That is how you can help the show grow. Also, if you're looking for older episodes of Dead Rabbit Radio, those are now on their own podcast, Dead Rabbit Radio Origins, where you can listen to the older episodes of Dead Rabbit Radio. It's still free to listen. It's just a separate podcast. And I've got some... Let me take out the rest of these bills real quick. It's gonna take me forever if I try to do it subtly. You're like, that was subtle? You must sound like Shrek opening up stuff. That was the su... I don't need that. Hold on a second. We are doing a Dead Rabbit Radio Movie Night. We talked about this yesterday, but I have some more concrete times. Dead Rabbit Radio Movie Night is gonna be Friday, September 18th. That is gonna start at 7 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, where you watch about two hours of short horror films. It's always a lot of fun. Dead Rabbit Radio Movie Night, September 18th at 7 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. That is for our Patreon members. Patreon members, free and paid members, can join us for that. We have a ton of free members. A ton of free members on our Patreon, which is really cool. So I'd love to see you guys come out for the movie night. The next morning, Saturday, September 19th, at 9 a.m. Pacific Standard Time, we have our Dead Rabbit Radio Movie Morning. That's for our international listeners, and everyone can join that. You do not have to be a Patreon member at all to join us for our Dead Rabbit Radio Movie Morning. It's been probably about two months since we've done one. I've really missed doing them. I was on vacation, so I'm really looking forward to that, and I hope to see you guys there. More information in the show notes below.

Okay, Kelly can't get right. Let's go ahead and get this party started. I'm going to go ahead and toss you a bunch of oars, like 10 or 12 of them. I hope you can hold all of this oak that I'm throwing at you. Kelly, go ahead. You are now the captain of the Lager Morph longboat. Lager Morph is a rabbit. What? What is that? It's a rabbit. It's like a Latin for rabbit or something like that. Everyone climb on board the Lager Morph longboat as Kelly beats the drum and we row out of Dead Rabbit Radio Command all the way down to the place where the River of Ice meets a River of Fire, aka Hell. Oh, splash, boom, boom, boom. Oh, splash, boom, boom, boom. Oh, splash, boom, boom. That's just the rapid rowboat sound effect with some drums added. What did you think it was going to sound like? It's basically just the giant rowboat where the River of Ice meets the River of Fire. We're going to Hell. That was the very evocative imagery they used in the recent movie, The Odyssey, starring Matt Damon as Odysseus. Because, spoiler alert, right? It is a 3000-year-old book, but they have to go to Hell and we're following the same path that they go on. So we get to the place where the world of man meets the world of the damned. We have to perform a sacrifice. You brought goats, right? Usually when you listen to this podcast, you have two goats sitting right next to you. Well, we got these goats. You're goats. Those aren't goats. Those are my pet dogs. I dressed them up like a goat. Bring them on over here. Now, that's too cruel. We won't kill your dogs. But if you have pet goats, we will kill those. Maybe they were rams. I don't know. We're just going to sacrifice some squirrels or whatever. Hopefully there'll be some snails when we get there. We'll just sacrifice those. I take a big, mighty shield and I stick it in the ground. Then I'm dragging your goats over and I pull out my knife and I go, Oh, Hades. Do you even know how to do this? No, I've kind of fell asleep during this part. I'm sure I can wing it. Hades, whether or not you're a dude or a location, take these goats' blood and I will sacrifice them all slit in throats. What the hell is the way to start off an episode blood spraying in your face?